Anthony Stewart Head Quotes
Giles: Xander's taken to teasing the less fortunate?
Buffy: Uh-huh.
Giles: And, uh, there's a noticeable change in both clothing and demeanor?
Buffy: Yes.
Giles: And, well, otherwise, all his spare time's spent lounging about with imbeciles?
Buffy: It's bad, isn't it?
Giles: It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Of course, you'll have to kill him.
Buffy: They didn't hurt him, did they?
Giles: They...uh...ate him.
[Willow sits down]
Buffy: They ate Principal Flutie?
Willow: Ate him up?
Giles: The official theory wild dogs got into his office, somehow. There was no one on the scene.
Buffy: This is the ‘90s. The 1990s in point and fact, and I can do both! Clark Kent has a job. I just want to go on a date.
Giles: Well, I suppose it was a fairly slim lead.
Buffy: Thank you, thank you, thank you! And look, I won’t go far, okay. If the apocalypse comes, beep me.
Giles: But I assume I don’t have to warn you about the hazards of becoming personally involved with someone who’s unaware of your unique condition?
Buffy: Yeah, yeah. I read the back of the box.
Giles: If your identity as a Slayer is revealed, it could put you and all those around you in grave danger.
Buffy: Well, in that case, I won’t wear my button that says, “I’m a Slayer. Ask me how.”
Buffy: That was Owen.
Giles: Yes, I remember.
Buffy: Do you have any more copies on Emily Dickinson?! I need one.
Giles: Buffy, while the fact that you want to check out a book would be grounds for a national holiday, I think would we should focus on the problem at hand.
Buffy: Right. I’m sorry, you’re right. Vampires...
[She looks down]
Buffy: Does this outfit make me look fat?
[Giles is shocked]
Giles: Well, basically, the She-Mantis assumes the form of a beautiful woman and lures innocent virgins back to her nest.
Buffy: Virgins?! Well, Xander’s not...uh...uh...I mean he’s probably...
Willow: He’s gonna die!
[Willow gets up and leaves]
Buffy: Any luck?
Giles: I’ve not found any creature as of yet that strikes terror in a vampire’s heart.
Buffy: Try looking under “things that can turn their heads all the way around.”
Giles: Nothing human can do that.
Buffy: Nothing human...but there are some insects that can. Whatever she is, I’m going to be ready for her.
Giles: What are you gonna do?
Buffy: My homework.
Buffy: Amy? Are you Amy?
Giles: I don’t understand.
Buffy: She switched...she switched your bodies, didn’t she?
Giles: Good lord.
Buffy: She wanted to relive her glory days.
“Catherine”: She said I was wasting my youth...so she took it.
Buffy: So, this isn’t a vampire problem?
Giles: No.
Buffy: But this is funky, right? Not of the norm.
Giles: Quite. Spontaneous human combustion is rare and scientifically unexplainable. There have been cases for hundreds of years. Usually all that’s left is a pile of ashes.
Willow: That’s all that would’ve been left if it hadn’t been for Buffy.
Xander: So, we have no idea what caused this? That’s a comfort.
Giles: But that’s the thrill of living on the Hellmouth. There’s a veritable cornucopia of fiends and devils and ghouls to look at.
[They all look at him confused]
Giles: Pardon me for finding the glass half full.
Buffy: Well, I gotta look on the bright side. Maybe I can still get kicked out of school?
[Xander, Buffy and Willow walk away]
Xander: Oh, yeah, that’s a plan. Because lots of schools are not hellmouths.
Willow: Maybe you can blow something up? They’re really strict about that.
Buffy: I was thinking of a more subtle approach. You know, like excessive not studying.
[Giles touches his glasses]
Giles: The earth is doomed.
Buffy: So Giles, got anything that could make this day any worse?
Giles: How about the end of the world?
Buffy: ...I knew I could count on you.
Willow: Buffy, I’m not anxious to go into a dark place full of monsters, but I do want to help. I need to.
Giles: Then help me. We can research this Harvest affair. It seems to be some sort of preordained massacre, rivers of blood, hell on earth...quite charmless. I’m a bit fuzzy, however, on the details. Maybe you rest some details from that dread machine?
[They look at him confused]
Giles: That was a bit...ummm...British, wasn’t it?
Buffy: Welcome to the new world.
