Sarah Michelle Gellar Quotes
Buffy: I think I just violated the guy code big time.
Willow: Poor Xander. Boys are so fragile. Speaking of, how was your date last night?
Buffy: Misfire. I was late due to unscheduled slay-age. Showed up looking trashed.
Willow: Was he mad?
Buffy: Actually he was pretty unmad. Which probably had something to do with the fact that Cordelia was drooling in his cappuccino!
Willow: Oh, Buffy. Angel would never fall for her act.
Buffy: You mean that “actually showing up, wearing a stunning outfit, embracing personal hygiene” act?
Willow: You know what I mean. She's not his type.
Buffy: Are you sure? I mean, I don't know what his type is. I've known him less than a year, and if you haven't noticed, he's not exactly one to over share.
Willow: True. It's too bad we can't sneak a look at the Watcher Diaries and read up on Angel. I'm sure it's full of fun facts to know and tell.
Buffy: Yeah, it's too bad. That stuff is private.
Willow: Also, Giles keeps them in his office...in his personal files.
Buffy: Most importantly, it would be wrong.
Cordelia: The deal is they need you to go. And if you don’t go, I can’t. And I’m talking about Richard Anderson. Okay, as in “Anderson Farms”...”Anderson Aeronautics”...and “Anderson Cosmetics.”
[She fake cries]
Cordelia: Well, you see why I have to go! Buffy, these men are rich and I’m not being shallow. Think about all the poor people I can help with all my money.
Buffy: I’ll go...
Cordelia: You’ll go? Great! I’ll drive. Oh Buffy, it’s like we’re sisters...with really different hair.
Angel: You just wanted coffee or something?
Buffy: Coffee?
Angel: I knew this was gonna happen.
Buffy: What? What do you think is happening?
Angel: You're 16 years old, I'm 241.
Buffy: I've done the math....
Angel: You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you want.
Buffy: Oh no, I think I do. I want out of this conversation.
Angel: Listen, if we date, you and I both know one thing's gonna lead to another.
Buffy: One thing already has led to another. You think it's a little late to be reading me a warning label?
Angel: I'm just trying to protect you. This could get out of control.
Buffy: Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
[Angel pulls her close]
Angel: This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you...you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Buffy: No. When you kiss me, I wanna die.
Buffy: Hmmm...history stumps me. I have a hard enough time remembering what happened last week.
Tom: Nothing happened last week. Don't worry, I was there.
Cordelia: Come on, Richard and his fraternity brother wanna meet you.
Buffy: Well, I don't really wanna meet any fraternity boys.
Cordelia: And if there was a God, don't you think he'd keep it that way?
Buffy: Ampata is only staying two weeks.
Willow: Yeah, and then Xander can find someone else who’s not me to obsess about. At least with you I knew he didn’t have a shot. Well, you know, I have a choice. I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out with every other girl in the world until he notices me or I can just get on with my life.
Buffy: Good for you.
Willow: Well, I didn't choose yet.
Willow: On the other hand, maybe Rodney just stepped out for a smoke?
Xander: For twenty-one hours?
Willow: It's addictive, you know.
Giles: We'll deal with that when we've ruled out evil curses.
Buffy: One day, I'm gonna live in a town where evil curses are just generally ruled out without even saying.
Xander: It’s no biggie. You’ll have a nice soiree, the parents will love you. As long as nothing really bad happens between now and then, you'll be fine.
Buffy: Are you crazy? What did you say that for? Now something bad is gonna happen.
Xander: What do you mean? Nothing's gonna happen.
Willow: Not until some dummy says, "As long as nothing bad happens."
Buffy: It's the ultimate jinx.
Willow: What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all?
[Buffy and Willow leave frustrated]
Xander: What, you guys don’t know. Maybe this time it’ll be different?
Angel: What I saw didn't add up to three whole girls. I think they kept some parts.
Buffy: Could this get yuckier?
Willow: They probably kept the other parts to eat.
Buffy: Question answered.
Xander: You know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too.
Giles: Hear, hear.
Buffy: Sorry, but I'm an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.
Buffy: Are you jealous?
Angel: Of Xander? Please. He's just a kid.
Buffy: Is it because I danced with him?
Angel: “Danced with” is a pretty loose term. “Mated with” might be a little closer.
Buffy: Don't you think you're being a little unfair? It was one little dance which I only did to make you crazy, by the way. Behold my success.
Angel: I am not jealous.
Buffy: You're not jealous? What, vampires don't get jealous?
Angel: See? Whenever we fight you always bring up the vampire thing.
Buffy: Well, I didn’t come here to fight.
[Vampire surprises them both]
Buffy: Oh, right, I did.
Angel: We need you to distract the vampires.
Buffy: Right.
Xander: What are you gonna do?
Buffy: I'm gonna kill them all. That oughta distract them.
