Barney: This is the moment I've been waiting for. Starting tonight, I am gonna teach you how to live. Ted, you had your chance. You're out, Marshall's in.
Ted: Yesss!
Marshall: Oh god...
Barney: Marshall, being a single guy in New York City is like ... What's something everybody likes?
Marshall: Candy...
Barney: Yes! It's like being in a candy store! You just walk right in and grab yourself some Whoppers! Yeah! ... Is Whoppers the best one?
Ted: Mounds.
Barney: Milk Duds.
Ted: Gobstoppers.
Barney: Um...
Future Ted: This went on for another hour. Ahhh, just skip to the end.
Ted: Dubble Bubbles!
Barney: Nice

Ted Mosby, Marshall Eriksen, Barney Stinson
How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 2: "The Scorpion and the Toad"
How I Met Your Mother
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Ted Mosby Quotes, Marshall Eriksen Quotes, Barney Stinson Quotes, How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 2 Quotes, HIMYM Quotes
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How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 2 Quotes

Ted: Five bucks says she still wants Marshall.
Robin: You're on.
Ted: Five American bucks.
Robin: Dammit

Ted: She's miserable. She's realized she's made a huge mistake, her and Marshall will be back together in a week. I love it!
Robin: Umm, no, you just want her to be miserable. The truth is, she's happy.
Ted: Trust me, I've known Lily for nine years.
Robin: Trust me, I'm a girl!
Ted: Yeah, but you're Canadian.