Alan: You know what you call someone who just skates through life doing only the bare minimum?
Jake: Uncle Charlie?
Alan: You call him a slacker.
Jake: Whateve...
Alan: Whateve? Are you now so lazy you can't even be bothered to finish words?
Jake: What's your prob? Don't you get happy if I just get in eighth grade? I mean isn't that the whole point of seventh?
Alan: No, that is not the whole point of seventh. And yes I'll be thrilled if you're not left back.
Jake: So relax, it's all good.
Alan: Don't you mean it's all "goo?"

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Alan Harper, Jake Harper
Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 19: "Waiting for the Right Snapper"
Two and a Half Men
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Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 19 Quotes

Dr. Freeman: So you're competing with your brother for the affection of an older, nurturing woman.
Charlie: Boy, you're just a one-string banjo, aren't you?

Charlie: So what do I owe you?
Dr. Freeman: Well, I get $200 an hour, you were here for 5 minutes, so why don't we just round it off and say $200?
Charlie: Man, even hookers prorate.