Game of Thrones for Beginners: An NSFW Samuel L. Jackson Recap

You guys!!!

Samuel L. Jackson, being exactly the man we know and love, is about to take you on a tour.

Where? Through Westeros.

Not only does he F-bomb his way through the delightful recap of all things Game of Thrones, but he tells you exactly what's important.

No, not those mutha f*ckin' dragons!

But yes, stick a pin in the brother/sister relationship between Cersei and Jaime Lannister. That's going to be important.

And Daenerys got some eggs for her wedding. Aren't they pretty?

Jackson's spot on when he says "and all hell has broken loose for things I don't have time to explain," fast forward!!!

Names he dropped for Joffrey along the way? Jerk and asshole.

As in "So this asshole has to marry her..." meaning Margaery. 

So what happened to all the Starks, you ask? They're not doing so well.

"Let's just say there are some wedding invitations you should decline."

Considering this is an NSFW version of the beginners guide to Game of Thrones (Surely there's not one where Jackson tones it down. That would miss the point completely), I'm surprised there was no mention of Melisandre. She's sure to draw some attention, no?

Jackson has pulled off an amazing feat. Through the use of video and his amazing vocal talent and personality, he's created a marketing piece for the hottest series on Television that doesn't even need marketing.

As he points out at one point, Jon Snow, well, you know what happened to him when his brothers turned on him, right?

Because who didn't? Except, well, maybe you don't. And the purpose of getting Jackson involved has to be for the final 30 seconds of this masterpiece.

While seminal events of Game of Thrones Season 6 flash across the scene, Jackson taunts those who may not have watched the series yet with reasons they should.

And one of them is, of course, those mutha f*ckin' dragons.

If you want dragons, then he's going to show them to you, dammit! And the final shot is a brilliant closeup of Dany and her favorite, whose name you'll just have to get when you watch. 

What? You think I'm going to give away stuff Samuel L. Jackson himself didn't feel it was relevant to share. Aw, hell no!