A Gossip Girl Insider Guide to the NFL

by at . Comments

The 2007-08 NFL season has been marked by enigmas, disappointments, upstarts inspiring stories. Not unlike the debut season of Gossip Girl!

Let's take a look at the parallels between our beloved Gossip Girl characters and some of the NFL's Super Bowl contenders (and pretenders) ...

Dan Humphrey: Pittsburgh Steelers. Going up against New York's private school elite, working-class Dan is the innocent, quiet contender no one expects a lot from or knows too much about. But he looks like he's up to the task. The Pittsburgh Steelers - with unheralded leaders and a rookie coach - bring heart and solid fundamentals. As with the reserved but likable Dan, they might just quietly upstage the favorites when it matters most.

  • Big Ben
  • All Over Each Other
  • Kitna

Like Big Ben (left) and Pittsburgh, quiet underdog Dan goes for broke with Serena, who, like Jon Kitna and Detroit, looks to rewrite history.

Serena van der Woodsen: Detroit Lions. Serena van der Woodsen has plenty of talent, yet is always being told she isn't living up to her potential. But could this be the year that all changes? For now, at least, signs point to yes. Serena and the surprising Lions (6-3) would rather not mention their history - and are making great strides to rewrite it.

Jenny Humphrey: New York Giants. Jenny shows promise, but is not quite ready to duke it out with the big boys (girls). One week, she stands up to Blair. The next, she reverts and becomes Miss Waldorf's lackey. At 6-3, the Giants have a lot to show for themselves this year, but fold - as Jenny did when she got caught wearing that bracelet to the masquerade ball - when the stakes are highest. Jenny is also overshadowed by her older brother, Dan. Eli and Peyton Manning, anyone?

  • Taylor Momsen Image
  • Eli Manning

Jenny Humphrey & Eli Manning: Just not champion material... yet.

Nate Archibald: Dallas Cowboys. At 9-1, the 'Boys have the swagger and the substance to back it up. Very much like the multifaceted Nate. Also, actor Chace Crawford, who plays Nate, is not only a Dallas-area native, but may be dating country singer Carrie Underwood, who may have dated the Cowboys quarterback, Tony Romo!

Lily van der Woodsen: Green Bay Packers. On the surface, Lily is viewed as a member of the city's social elite. Same with Brett Favre's Packers in this year's NFL. But it's just a matter of time until both are exposed as pretenders. Green Bay hasn't been fully tested, and Lily has already shown that she'd be more comfortable at home, hangin' out in sweats with Rufus.

Blair Waldorf: Indianapolis Colts. Blair is everybody's sexy pick to go all the way (just ask Chuck), and at first glance, this rich, gorgeous babe appears out of everyone's league. Like the Colts, though, Miss Waldorf may look a lot better on paper. If you're aggressive enough and show her a variety of looks, both Blair's and Indy's defenses are prone to letdowns. Special teams play? Also an issue.

Gossip Girls

Blair's BFFs: Miami Dolphins: Blair Waldorf's bitchy, two-headed posse has had about as many lines of dialogue, collectively, as Miami has wins. So irrelevant, one wonders why they even bother to suit up each week.

Gossip Girl: New Orleans Saints. Shrouded in mystery, the omniscient blog queen who gives Gossip Girl its name remains an enigma. The up-and-down New Orleans Saints (4-4) can certainly relate - we have no clue what team to expect from week to week. Also, both have nice Bush (we think).

Rufus Humphrey: Philadelphia Eagles. This guy - and team - used to really rock. Now they're past their prime and can't seem to realize it. However, both may have something left in the tank. Rufus has been nothing if not smooth while putting the moves on uptight Lily, and the Eagles sold 700,000 copies of their new album in one week! Oh, wait, that's the band.

Chuck Bass: New England Patriots. Pure evil.

  • Man with a Plan
  • Belichick

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

Tags:
Avatar

and although i like blair, the colts are definatly not my pick to go all the way

Avatar

the patriots are so not evil!

Avatar

Good Comps!!! And just like with the NFL, I'd take Dan Humphrey in a fist fight against Chuck Bass. Good beats evil!
PS Jenny is too hot to be compared to Eli!

Avatar

now that blow to the patriots was uncalled for. especially without an explanation. yeah so they cheated, everyone does it. and just like what can be said of chuck bass, true fans love then anyway and the cowboys are 8-1, not 9-1 btw

Avatar

I'm not a big fan of football, but I am a big fan of Chace.
Going to see him LIVE IN PERSON in the OC!!!!!! Check it out:
http://www.textrules.com/juke

Gossip Girl Quotes

And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell ... You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl

[to Jenny] That's the thing. You need to be cool to be queen. Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart and she got her head chopped off. So her daughter Elizabeth made a vow never to marry a man. She married a country. Forget boys. Keep your eye on the prize, Jenny Humphrey. You can't make people love you, but you can make them fear you. For what it's worth, you're my Queen. I choose you.

Blair
x Close Ad