The head writer of last week's episode, Joan Rater, talks about "The Becoming" in great detail on the show's official writers' blog. Here's what the writer herself has to say about last Thursday's terrific Grey's Anatomy episode ...

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I'd like to share some thoughts on ["The Becoming"] but first I'd like to say ... OH MY GOD!!!! I just saw some stuff that was shot for the upcoming Season Four finale (that Shonda Rhimes wrote) and it's soooooooo good.

I don't mean to torment you and I really wish I could tell you all the cool things that are going to happen, and you should know the great restraint it's taking me not to give you even the tiniest little hint of what's to come (keep an eye on that champagne bottle from tonight's episode) because I have a big mouth and am really bad at keeping secrets so I can really relate to Izzie in this episode.

But enough about me and the Season 4 finale because first we have to get there and getting there is really what "The Becoming" is about.

Becoming who you want to be, who you know you could be if you weren't quite so screwed up or preoccupied with kissing when thinking about surgery.

All of our doctors are trying to become these people they see in their head, the versions of themselves who are strong and successful and happy, their best selves.

Izzie wants to be a good doctor and keep the news of Ava confidential - but also wants to be a good friend to Alex, who is changing his life for this baby that doesn't exist.

Alex Karev wants to be a good parent, but he himself didn't have very good role models, so he's scared that he won't be able to do it.

George is trying to be okay with the fact that he has to repeat his intern year, and Cristina is really trying to make the best of a bad situation with Hahn.

And then there's Meredith Grey.

Meredith wants to be a great surgeon.

She wants to succeed at this clinical trial.

But she keeps thinking about Derek. Particularly his tongue.

Thoughts of kissing him keep interfering with the surgeries she loves. So can Dr. Wyatt please give her some tools to make the thoughts stop?

Because Meredith Grey feels like she has to choose. Career or love. She can't have both.

Continue reading on the show's writers' blog ...

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