Gossip Girl Realism Scale Rating: -5!

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Each Gossip Girl episode is reviewed by New York Magazine, then assigned a score according to the magazine's arbitrary, but hilarious "realism scale."

This week's show, "The Dark Night," measured -5 on the nonsensical system. Here are some highlights from the publication's Gossip Girl analysis ...

  • OMG! Marcus punched Chuck! Nobody ever gets what they deserve on this show. Plus 4.
  • All the women in this episode have sweaty, dewy cleavage but perfect hair and non-sweaty upper lips. How is that fair? Realistic, we mean. Minus 5.
  • Nate's hair is better in this episode. It's less dry corn husk and more Greek statue. As it should be. Plus 2.
  • We started hating those thin collars Dan was wearing two whole episodes ago. But now that they are button-down? Unforgivable. Minus 2.
  • Speaking of Gossip Girl fashion disasters, that white Chanel belt totally made Serena van der Woodsen look pregnant. Minus 5.
Damsel in Distress
  • Blair: "Hot young guy, aging beauty having her last fling before the plastic surgery starts? It's called a cliché." Plus 5.
  • "What names does he call you when you make love?" Honestly? What names does anyone call each other when they "make love"? In high school. Minus 2.
  • We're so glad that Vanessa told Dan how The Duchess threatened her to get her away from Nate. If this were any other show, she would have, like, not told and made us wait until like the end of the next episode, like how they always tease that Lo is going to eat Audrina's live, beating heart out of her chest during every episode of The Hills, but it never happens. Plus 2.
  • Dan thinks that the very existence of rich people who are advantaged is unfair and he can't bear to be with Serena because of it. Thatis the reason, we are led to believe, for their breakup. Minus 10.
  • For a moment, when Blair sold out Nate to Catharine, we thought "no way." Then we thought better. Plus 1.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


I agree about the Ed getting to use his natural accent thing! That was awesome. So was the whole Marcus punching Chuck thing. And omg, Serena totally looked pregnant! I kept wondering what the show's stylists were thinking. I love both Chanel and Serena, but it made it look like there was something she needed to tell Dan.. And their break-up (again!) was lame. Serena can't change who she is, because she was born into that. But Dan CAN change his attitude. I thought maybe he would have grown up over the summer and got off his moral high horse and stopped judging so much. But nope! They were all like, I stil love you... if it was true love, they would make it work anyway, and furthermore, they wouldn't both be moving on so quick (ie the next episode, where they are dating other people.)


the person at the top said they let ed use his natural accent. he put on a really posh voice for that line. thats not how he speaks in real-life. anyway, i love the realism scale. im in england so i cant read it so i love that i can see some of it here. xx


@ macscene
People can change, but there must be some drama. Season 2 of GG is kinda boring.. and fake.


Dan is so judgemental against Serena and they can't change? Hello, people can change.


What about the blackout in New York City that lasted maybe an hour? Completely unrealistic. ConEd wishes it were that efficient.


Dan and Serena's drama with Serena's name getting her special treatment is so lame. Dan and Serena are COMPLETELY why I watch the show, but everytime they speak about their "different worlds" I can't help but roll my eyes. In real life, this totally wouldn't be something that a couple would dwell on. BTW, I really love the realism scale column. The writer makes some judgments that I disagree with, but the writing is excellent and I always laugh reading it.


If taht was a problem for Dan than why didn't he break up with Serena in the 1st season. After that brunch he seemed to be OK with where she comes from and he was happy with her and now suddenly it's such a problem... If they wanted them to break up they should have thought of a better reason!


Ok I am so glad it wasnt just me that though she look all pragent from that belt lol


Dan broke up with Serena for a stupid reason.. he should just accept her for who she is! and for the next upcoming episodes, we find Serena and Dan searching for new partners.. that is QUICK! Ffffing script writers!


Hahaha this was hilarious! And I totally agree with the quote above me : ) : )


Gossip Girl Quotes

And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell ... You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl

[to Jenny] That's the thing. You need to be cool to be queen. Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart and she got her head chopped off. So her daughter Elizabeth made a vow never to marry a man. She married a country. Forget boys. Keep your eye on the prize, Jenny Humphrey. You can't make people love you, but you can make them fear you. For what it's worth, you're my Queen. I choose you.