We gave you a chance, Heroes fans. We asked if anyone that still liked this trainwreck of a program wished to review it.
No one replied, leaving you once again in the recapping hands of someone that can't help but laugh (and, occasionally, vomit) at how far this series has fallen. This week was another example of an abysmal, plodding episode that accomplished absolutely nothing.
Read more about "Close to Home" now and then check out our review below, as we pick apart each terrible storyline...
Hiro rescued Mohinder... from the same mental hospital in which Hiro originally placed him. Nice to see this arc come full, pointless circle. Also, was it really necessary to make Hiro speak jibberish just to illustrate that he's sick? More importantly, was it necessary to dedicate a millisecond of this show's time to Mohinder?
Sound off in our Heroes forum about this all-important mission to save Mohinder!
Parkman felt content as a stay-at-home dad, only to be talked out of it by HRG, go on a mission, return from it, give a sensible speech about family, cook dinner and then feel guilty about his recent decisons in life... all in the same episode. Did Parkman go to the Claire school of super-heroing? Why did God give such whining morons such cool abilities?!?
Peter traded in his ability to fly and save thousands of people per year... for the ability to dream of the future. Not sure you got the best end of that deal, dude.
HRG needed to track down Samuel... yet wouldn't ask his daughter for the tool with which to do it.
We must focus more on this storyline. First off, why does HRG believe Samuel is so dangerous? With just four episodes remaining this season, have we even seen that many examples of Samuel's evil intentions? We STILL don't know his grand plan!
Secondly, HRG and Claire have fought approximaely 527 times, always over the same basic thing (HRG lying over something job-related). We're meant to believe he wouldn't go to her for the compass - in order to locate a supposedly dangerous individual - because she's a little mad at him? Please.
Finally, last week's episode concluded with Sylar hanging outside Claire's window. It was actually somewhat intriguing. Did the show pick up on that cliffhanger this week? No. That's inexcusable.
Claire did act strangely when HRG went to visit her, and it's possible Sylar was in her dorm room or playing some unclear role in that scene that we'll learn more about later. But we've said this before and we'll keep saying it:
This season has been a catastrophe because nothing - and we mean NOTHING - is at stake. Is the world in imminent danger? No. Does the fate of any Hero hang in the balance? We thought that answer might be yes, based on Sylar's discovery of his Claire tattoo last week, but apparently not.
This is a series about super heroes and yet is doesn't have a clue how to make any storylines suspenseful. With just four weeks to go, why should viewers be on the edges of their seats, anxious about this season's finale? Please tell us: Why?!?