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Classic TV Quotes: Gilmore Girls Season One

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With its fast dialogue and endless run-on sentences loaded with pop culture references and political-social commentary, what Classic TV Quotes segment would be complete without Gilmore Girls?

Gilmore Girls Poster

Lorelai and her daughter Rory gave us seven seasons of entertainment that even made Time's "100 Best TV Shows of All Time."  The best we can do for Amy Sherman-Palladino's classic?

We've compiled over 600 quotes from season one for you to browse and vote for your favorites.  Until we're lucky enough to get a Gilmore Girls movie, that's what you're going to have to settle with.

So get read and enjoy our editor's picks of our favorite Gilmore Girls quotes below:

Lorelai: Michel, the phone.
Michel: Mm-hmm. It rings.
Lorelai: Can you answer it?
Michel: No. People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them.
Lorelai: You know who's really nice to talk to? The people at the unemployment agency.
Michel: Independence Inn. Michel speaking. | permalink
Rory: You're happy.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Rory: Did you do something slutty?
Lorelai: I'm not that happy. | permalink
Rory: I can't be late on my first day of school. Do you know what happens to people when they're late on their first day?
Lorelai: It's shorter?
Rory: For the rest of the year, they're labeled "The Late Girl."
Lorelai: How dramatic. | permalink
Lorelai: (to Headmaster Charleston) Rory is not gonna to be a problem. She's totally low maintenance, you know, like a Honda. You know, they're just easy, just...nice office. | permalink
Rory: Is it hard to become a member here?
Richard: Everyone has to go through a thorough screening process.
Rory: Kind of like the FBI?
Richard: We're much more thorough than that. | permalink
Rory: Oh my God, I just got hit by a deer!
Lane: You hit a deer?
Rory: No, I got hit by a deer!
Lane: How do you get hit by a deer?
Rory: I was at a stop sign and it hit me.
Lane: Was it a 4-way stop?
Rory: What does that matter?
Lane: I don't know. I don't know what to ask after you've been hit by a deer. | permalink
Max: How about coffee? You like coffee?
Lorelai: Only with my oxygen. | permalink
Rory: I'll be back in plenty of time to help you decorate.
Lorelai: No, this is your party. You do not work. You lounge and mock those who are. Have I taught you nothing?
Rory: Sorry, I'll try to be better. | permalink
Lorelai: He kissed you and you said 'thank you'?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Well that was very polite. | permalink
Dean: So are you asking me to go to a dance with you?
Rory: No... Yes... I mean... if you wanted to go, I would go too.
Dean: That would probably be good since it's your school. | permalink
Lorelai: Rory, there are only two things that I trust in this entire world. The fact that I will never be able to understand what Charo is saying no matter how long she lives in this country, and you.
Rory: Hopefully not in that order. | permalink
Dean: We were reading a book and then we fell asleep.
Lorelai: Pick a more interesting book next time. | permalink
Max: Not only are you breaking up with me, you're doing it really badly.
Lorelai: Am I being graded?
Max: No, I'm a little disappointed. I would've expected a little better dumping from you.
Lorelai: I just need space.
Max: Well, I don't. In fact, I want as little space as possible. A hundred clowns crammed into a Volkswagen, that's the kind of non-space I'm talking about. | permalink
Lorelai: Hey, you know the one good thing we learned from this?
Rory: What?
Lorelai: That I'm a babe. | permalink
Lorelai: Who wants cheese?
Rory: Are there crackers?
Lorelai: Somewhere in the state of Connecticut, yes, there are crackers.
Rory: And in the Gilmore house?
Lorelai: Who wants cheese? | permalink
Lorelai: I miss Max.
Rory: I know.
Lorelai: I had a dream about him the other night.
Rory: Really? Dirty?
Lorelai: (embarrassed) No, absolutely not. And when you're 21, I'll tell you the real answer. | permalink
Lorelai: So, last time I saw you, you were headed home. You want to fill in the blanks?
Rory: I don't know. I just snapped and I got sick of everything. I wanted to go anywhere.
Lorelai: So you picked hell? | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


Miss them! They are so hilarious!

Dan and serena xxx

I miss these girls sooo much
Its the best show


ya i just kind of ignore the finale. I remember her and lorlei talking at a cabin about rory being excited for the potential of her marrying logen, so i hold on to that and just ignore the finale.


It makes me so sad that Rory doesn't end up with anybody. Seriously we need a movie that at least tells us how she likes her job... I LOVE this show!


jessssss and rory forever


:( They need to make a movie where Rory ends up with Jess, Dean, or Logan


me tooooooooooooooo


oooou... I miss them so much!!!

Gilmore Girls Quotes

Babette: Oh! Rory, Sweety! Hold on there, baby.
Rory: Hey, Babette. Is everything okay?
Babette: I should be asking you that question. Come here. Let me see that arm. Oh, you poor little thing. How you doin', huh?
Rory: I'm doing fine.
Babette: Ah, look at ya' being brave like that after all you've been through. Geeze! It's so hard being a woman! Isn't it?
Rory: I guess.
Babette: I mean you got your morals and your standards and your good common sense and then, BAM! You meet some guy and then all that goes right out the window.
Rory: But...
Babette: For every good woman, there's a dirty little wolf just ready to lead her astray. you can't help it. He's got the eyes, the chin, chest hair you could carpet your dining room with. What's a woman to do? We're not made of steal for God's sakes.
Rory: Babette...
Babette: I was in a cult once. Did I tell you that?
Rory: No!
Babette: I met this guy once, gorgeous, tan, looked just like Mickey Hargitay. We had coffee. He gave me a pamphlet. Next thing you know, I'm wearin' a moomoo playing the tambourine jumping up and down at the airport.
Rory: Okay, I really have to get inside.
Babette: Oh, sure hon, sure. You go take good care of yourself, and don't be embarrassed toots. This has happened to all of us.

Rory: Good night, Dodger.
Jess: What?
Rory: Figure it out.
Jess: Oliver Twist.

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