Classic TV Quotes: Gilmore Girls Season One

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With its fast dialogue and endless run-on sentences loaded with pop culture references and political-social commentary, what Classic TV Quotes segment would be complete without Gilmore Girls?

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Lorelai and her daughter Rory gave us seven seasons of entertainment that even made Time's "100 Best TV Shows of All Time."  The best we can do for Amy Sherman-Palladino's classic?

We've compiled over 600 quotes from season one for you to browse and vote for your favorites.  Until we're lucky enough to get a Gilmore Girls movie, that's what you're going to have to settle with.

So get read and enjoy our editor's picks of our favorite Gilmore Girls quotes below:

Lorelai: Michel, the phone.
Michel: Mm-hmm. It rings.
Lorelai: Can you answer it?
Michel: No. People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them.
Lorelai: You know who's really nice to talk to? The people at the unemployment agency.
Michel: Independence Inn. Michel speaking. | permalink
Rory: You're happy.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Rory: Did you do something slutty?
Lorelai: I'm not that happy. | permalink
Rory: I can't be late on my first day of school. Do you know what happens to people when they're late on their first day?
Lorelai: It's shorter?
Rory: For the rest of the year, they're labeled "The Late Girl."
Lorelai: How dramatic. | permalink
Lorelai: (to Headmaster Charleston) Rory is not gonna to be a problem. She's totally low maintenance, you know, like a Honda. You know, they're just easy, just...nice office. | permalink
Rory: Is it hard to become a member here?
Richard: Everyone has to go through a thorough screening process.
Rory: Kind of like the FBI?
Richard: We're much more thorough than that. | permalink
Rory: Oh my God, I just got hit by a deer!
Lane: You hit a deer?
Rory: No, I got hit by a deer!
Lane: How do you get hit by a deer?
Rory: I was at a stop sign and it hit me.
Lane: Was it a 4-way stop?
Rory: What does that matter?
Lane: I don't know. I don't know what to ask after you've been hit by a deer. | permalink
Max: How about coffee? You like coffee?
Lorelai: Only with my oxygen. | permalink
Rory: I'll be back in plenty of time to help you decorate.
Lorelai: No, this is your party. You do not work. You lounge and mock those who are. Have I taught you nothing?
Rory: Sorry, I'll try to be better. | permalink
Lorelai: He kissed you and you said 'thank you'?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Well that was very polite. | permalink
Dean: So are you asking me to go to a dance with you?
Rory: No... Yes... I mean... if you wanted to go, I would go too.
Dean: That would probably be good since it's your school. | permalink
Lorelai: Rory, there are only two things that I trust in this entire world. The fact that I will never be able to understand what Charo is saying no matter how long she lives in this country, and you.
Rory: Hopefully not in that order. | permalink
Dean: We were reading a book and then we fell asleep.
Lorelai: Pick a more interesting book next time. | permalink
Max: Not only are you breaking up with me, you're doing it really badly.
Lorelai: Am I being graded?
Max: No, I'm a little disappointed. I would've expected a little better dumping from you.
Lorelai: I just need space.
Max: Well, I don't. In fact, I want as little space as possible. A hundred clowns crammed into a Volkswagen, that's the kind of non-space I'm talking about. | permalink
Lorelai: Hey, you know the one good thing we learned from this?
Rory: What?
Lorelai: That I'm a babe. | permalink
Lorelai: Who wants cheese?
Rory: Are there crackers?
Lorelai: Somewhere in the state of Connecticut, yes, there are crackers.
Rory: And in the Gilmore house?
Lorelai: Who wants cheese? | permalink
Lorelai: I miss Max.
Rory: I know.
Lorelai: I had a dream about him the other night.
Rory: Really? Dirty?
Lorelai: (embarrassed) No, absolutely not. And when you're 21, I'll tell you the real answer. | permalink
Lorelai: So, last time I saw you, you were headed home. You want to fill in the blanks?
Rory: I don't know. I just snapped and I got sick of everything. I wanted to go anywhere.
Lorelai: So you picked hell? | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.

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Gilmore Girls Quotes

Lorelai: Hi, Mom.
Emily: Lorelai, my goodness, this is a surprise. Is it Easter already?
Lorelai: (sounding uncomfortable) No, I just, uh, finished up my business class and I thought I would stop by.
Emily: To see me?
Lorelai: Yes.
Emily: Well, isn't that nice. Come in.
Lorelai: Thanks.
(They walk to the living room.)
Lorelai: The place looks great.
Emily: It hasn't changed.
Lorelai: Well, there you go. How are the girls at the bridge club?
Emily: Old.
Lorelai: Well... good.
(Lorelai and Emily sit, opposite to each other)
Emily: You said you were taking a business class?
Lorelai: Yeah, mmhmm, yeah. I'm taking a business class at the college twice a week. I'm sure I told you.
Emily: Well, if you're sure then you must have. (she pauses) Would you like some tea?
Lorelai: I would love some coffee.
Richard: (calling from another room) Emily? I'm home.
Emily: We're in here.
(Richard walks into the living room)
Lorelai: Hi, Dad.
Richard: What is it, Christmas already?

Lorelai: (speaking to Luke) Wow, you look nice. Really nice.
Luke: I had a meeting earlier at the bank. They like collars. You look nice, too.
Lorelai: I had a flagellation to go to.
Luke: So, what'll you have?
Lorelai: Coffee, in a vat.
Rory: I'll have coffee also. And chili fries.
Luke: That's quite a refined palate you got there.
(Luke walks to the counter)
Lorelai: (to Rory) Behold the healing powers of a bath.