Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls Quotes

Season 3 Episode 22: "Those Are Strings, Pinocchio"

Sookie St. James: Not crying.
Lorelai Gilmore: Crying a little.
Sookie St. James: Crying a little, but not blubbering. That's what we meant when we said no crying. No blubbering.
Rory: Thank you, Mom: you are my guidepost for everything.
Sookie St. James: On the verge of blubbering here.
Jackson Belleville: Not doing too well myself.
Lorelai Gilmore: Not you, too.
Luke Danes: I'm blubbering. You're freaks!
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Lorelai Gilmore: [fitting Rory's new dress] Maybe we should bring it in a bit more.
Rory: Oh, sure, but first why don't you use a medieval torture instrument to crush my ribs and flatten my spinal cord in order to accommodate your sadistic wishes.
Lorelai Gilmore: Don't use subtlety on us, we're slow.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 21: "Here Comes the Son"

Luke Danes: I need to talk to you.
Lorelai: Come inside.
Luke Danes: No, she - Rory's in there!
Lorelai: Since when are you scared of Rory? Cause seriously, Luke, I think you can take her.
Luke Danes: I just need to tell you something. Can she hear us?
Lorelai: Through the walls? No, I put some kryptonite in her waffles. We're good.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: I can't finish all this and sleep at the same time.
Lorelai: You have to sleep. It's what keeps you pretty.
Rory: Who cares if I'm pretty if I fail my finals?
Lorelai: Oh-kay. You've got this so completely backwards.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jimmy: When you left home, were the cops after you?
Jess: No.
Jimmy: No cause they shouldn't be, or no cause they haven't found the head yet?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Rory: Louise, what is your grandmother wearing to graduation?
Louise: Hopefully the pearls I get when she kicks.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 20: "Say Goodnight, Gracie"

Rory: [about Lane's backpack] I got it, we can go.
Lorelai: Why are you holding it like that?
Rory: Because when Lane left it here last night it was a very different color.
Lorelai: Are you sure she's gonna want that back? It's been left alone all night at a keg party, there's no getting it over that. That backpack is permanently scarred, that backpack is Zelda Fitzgerald.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lorelai: So, not only did you GO to a cop raided party, but you were the cause of the fight that caused the raid!
Rory: Yes...
Lorelai: [singing] Did you ever know that you're my heeero. You're everything I wish I could be!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jess: I need ham.
Ceaser: No ham.
Jess: We got a shipment of ham yesterday!
Ceaser: No ham.
Jess: Ceasar, there is a lady over there that has been saying she wants ham for the last twenty minutes and if I go back there empty-handed, there is a fifty-fifty chance that she will eat me!
Ceaser: No ham!
Jess: Then sew some bacon together because that woman is getting ham!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 19: "Keg! Max!"

Zack: You need to move back more.
Brian: Why?
Zack: Because when I do my double jump kick off the amp with slashing windmills, I'm gonna need more room.
Lane Kim: Well, don't do that, then.
Dave Rygalski: Yeah, sounds a little too Milli Vanilli.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rick Bloomenfeld: KE-E-E-E-E-E-E-G!
Kyle: That's my cousin Rick. He just turned 21. Pretty awesome.
Rick Bloomenfeld: 21! Yeah!
Lane Kim: What is that - beer?
Zack: No, it's one of those milk kegs.
Brian: Ha. Good one.
Lane Kim: There's beer? Is that legal?
Dave Rygalski: Well, apparently, Rick is 21.
Rick Bloomenfeld: 21! WHOO-HOO!
Dave Rygalski: Or just really into that particular integer.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: No, Luke, thanks for doing this. It's exactly what the contractor said. We just wanted a guy with a good butt's opinion.
Sookie: Yeah, Tom has a terrible butt.
Luke: Please stop that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: So you mean someone broke into our house, went past our TV, our stereo and our jewelry, then headed straight for the booster club cashbox, took $18 and left the rest?
Lorelai: Some burglars aren't as greedy as others.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 18: "Happy Birthday, Baby"

Fran Westin: So that's a four foot chocolate cake with individual vanilla cupcakes on top spelling out Happy 16th Birthday, Lorelai?
Rory Gilmore: That's right.
Fran Westin: Would you like butter cream or whip cream frosting on that?
Rory Gilmore: Can you do both?
Fran Westin: That's alot of frosting.
Rory Gilmore: I know. But it's my mom's favorite part. Once we tried to make a cake entirely out of frosting, which turned out to be better in theory than in actual execution.
Fran Westin: Well, both frostings it is, then.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michel Gerard: Well, this is wonderful, to smell like a dead person. You'll have to beat them off with a stick.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: Hey, can you stash this at your house till the party? It's just favors and stuff.
Lane: Ironic, isn't it? You having to hide stuff at my house for a change.
Rory: Life has come full circle.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jackson Belleville: I have got a sobbing pregnant woman at home, which is not unusual except this time I didn't cause it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Taylor: [in the middle of convincing Nicole to date his nephew, instead of Luke] Luke I'm not talking to you.
Luke: It's my lucky day.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 17: "A Tale of Poes and Fire"

Rory Gilmore: I gotta go, but call me if there's any news.
Lorelai Gilmore: You mean if Michel kills Babette, then Miss Partty, them himself, and then it's a bizarre murder, suicide.
Rory Gilmore: Amongst other things.
 • Rating: Unrated

Paris Geller: I did tell my mother about having sex with Jamie and her only reaction was to talk about how my father hasn't pleased her in 15 years.
Rory Gilmore: Yikes!
Paris Geller: Like I couldn't tell.
 • Rating: Unrated

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