Gossip Girl > Gossip Girl Caption Contest 134 > Comments Page 5
-Jenny thinking- Do you think they can see all of the drugs I've hidden in these bags?
Looks like Little J keeps getting closer in touch with her inner raccoon. First the eyes, now she's looking for trash? What's next? Trust me to find out.
@_Emerald_ and @Aries93
Thanks so much :DD. i thought it might be a bit long but i just could stop lol.
Jenny (thinking): Damn, i left my pet raccoon here last night. Where is it? I can't lose my style icon!
@.Vanessa - That is actually really funny. I vote for yours! ;D
Uh oh Little J, looks like you're passing over dangerous enemy lines. Some words of advice: You better be careful or you might just end up in the dumpster with the rest of Brooklyn's trash.
Almost rolled on the floor laughing reading yours!
This species of raccoon is called Jennifus Tallulus Humphria. It can be recognized by the black, smeared marking around its eyes, unbrushed, matted white fur on its head, lack of pants and hygiene. It is usually spotted around trash or eyeliner but never a brush or shower. Usual activities include sleeping with other boyfriends, lying, cheating, drug muling and scheming. It has recently migrated to Hudson, from Brooklyn, after being chased away from enemy territory, also known as the Upper East Side, by the superior being Queen Bee.
Slowly now or we will spook it...
one word "Trash"
Spotted: The rare UES species of raccoon, foraging for makeup and dignity. Watch as she carefully ruins lives and destroys relationships, making the creatures around her want to die.
Jenny: Situations like this really MAKE ME WANA DIE, I'LL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH!
Gossip Girl: It seems like Little J is finally where she belongs. With the trash.
GossipGirl: caught on camera, a raccoon searching through the garbage.
Jenny: Hmm, might have to sell some of these things if dad and Lily's marriage doesn't work out.
UNSUCCESSFUL TROLL IS UNSUCCESSFUL.
Taylor: Well, this is what life as a touring band is like, I guess. At least I didn't have to worry about packing clothes.
Jenny (thinking): You're one step behind Blair. After Agnes put my stuff in the trash, she set fire to it.
hello hello hello
Jenny: *Thinking:* "Haha, I'm the masked racoon-girl! I have the strength to steal my foot and sing 'Shake 'n Baken'!"
I just think you guys are the only ones that truly understand me..
What do you mean Vampire Diaries won't be back on until January 27th...
J: I think my period just started.
Day 1 Diary of a Teenage Train Wreck
I found myself beside a pile of trash today contemplating my fall from grace...thinking to myself how did I get here...then it all came back to me. I slept with Chuck Bass, I was a drug mule for my drug dealer boyfriend, I started flashing people and most of all I'm Jenny Humphrey. Yeah life sucks.
jenny: hmmmm why did blair throw my clothes out? i guess my new nickname jenny humpforfree doesn't fly well with her!