The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Simon Helberg stars as Howard Wolowitz, the only one of the nerds that is not a doctor.  He is an engineer at Caltech and is friends with Leonard and Sheldon and frequently is over at their apartment.  Wolowitz mostly goes by his last name and still lives with his mother.

Most jokes with Wolowitz revolve around his failed attempts at womanizing, though he was given a girlfriend, Bernadette, in season three.

Howard Wolowitz Quotes

Howard's mother: Speak up!
Howard: From now on she's the only woman who can yell at me!

Raj: Ahh, the premature I love you.
Wolowitz: : I guessed premature, does that count?

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Penny: I always tear up when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes.
Sheldon: Tears seem appropriate. Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, is a serious disease which can lead to congestive heart failure.