Does it get any funnier than The Big Bang Theory quotes? There's a reason why this is the highest rated sitcom on television. And that has a lot to do with these Big Bang Theory quotes.

While my brother was getting an STD, I was getting a PhD.

Sheldon

Leonard: And we weren't even watching TV! We were watching Netflix like the kids do!
Penny: Yeah! Is it a comedy? Is it a drama? Nobody knows!

Bernadette: A two-hundred dollar R2D2 is a business expense?
Howard: Oh, Bernie. You're gonna have to sound a lot more confident when we get audited.

Leonard: It comes with paints and it's kind of creative and artistic.
Penny: Okay, did you go to the dirty store, or Michaels?

Penny: See, this is why I've been saying we should keep champagne on ice.
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: That was tricky because when it comes to alcohol she generally means business.

Amy: After a careful evaluation of our relationship. We decided that the time was right to take a step forward.
Leonard: Okay.
Sheldon: Do you want to say it?
Amy: Let's say it together!
Sheldon and Amy: We're getting a turtle!

Excuse me. You better find my husband's mother, because one way or another, we're walking out of here with a dead woman!

Bernadette

Sheldon: If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Penny: Well, not to steal from the Bible, but turning water into wine sounds pretty good.

Leonard: I'm telling you, you can't create love in a few hours. Right?
Penny: Careful. You're poking at the whole foundation of The Bachelor.

Amy: I just read about an experiment designed to see if you can make two people fall in love in a matter of hours.
Leonard: That doesn't sound right. My research has shown that it takes three to five years of shameless begging.

Let's have a toast. To Mrs. Wolowitz. A loving mother ... to all of us. We'll miss you.

Leonard

Sheldon: I didn't care for her yelling, but now that I'm not going to hear it again, I'm sad.
Leonard: If you want, I can yell at you later.
Sheldon: It won't be as good.

Our section of The Big Bang Theory quotes covers pretty much everything Penny, Leonard, Sheldon and company has ever said. We review this sitcom on a weekly basis and we update our rundown of The Big Bang Theory quotes accordingly. You can - nay, you should! - review these one-liners and quotes on a weekly basis in order to stay current and in order to laugh. You do want to laugh, don't you? Good. We thought so. That's why we pride ourselves on being the top sources for The Bang Theory quotes on the entire World Wide Web.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?