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Does it get any funnier than The Big Bang Theory quotes? There's a reason why this is the highest rated sitcom on television. And that has a lot to do with these Big Bang Theory quotes.
Raj: I was trying to help you! And at the first sign of trouble you ran away, leaving me to fend off a family of rats! You're a completely selfish human being and a... and a physical and a moral coward!
Sheldon: His statements of the obvious continue to annoy.
- Permalink: His statements of the obvious continue to annoy.
Bernadette: Why are you being a baby?
Howard: I'm not a baby! I'm a grown man, and I made the bed. Now where's my star?
Raj: So, as Hannah Montana, Miley was a world-famous pop star.But then she would take off her wig and go to school like a normal girl. Which, I don't have to tell you, at that age, is its own headache.
Sheldon: That's preposterous. How would she go unrecognized
just by wearing a wig?
Raj: But you're okay with Superman concealing his identity with a pair of glasses?
Sheldon: He doesn't just put on a pair of glasses. He combs back his curlicue and affects a mild-mannered personality.
Raj: It's also a live mine, so there'll be dynamite explosions going off in the distance.
Sheldon: Yeah, I have a lactose-intolerant roommate with a taste
for ice cream. Next.
Raj: Oh, you have to be down there for 12 hours at a time.
Sheldon: Yeah? We have to be somewhere.
Raj: Well, there's no toilets-- we'll have to do our business
in a bucket.
Sheldon: So it's settled-- we're not doing it.
- Permalink: So it's settled-- we're not doing it.
Raj: Hey, Sheldon, you busy?
Sheldon: I'm always busy. This mind is capable of advanced multitasking. You know, currently, I'm attempting to solve the Penrose conjecture, I'm composing my Nobel acceptance speech for when I've solved the Penrose conjecture, and I'm wondering
how mermaids have babies.
Raj: Don't they lay eggs on a rock?
Sheldon: Now I've got room for another thing.
- Permalink: Now I've got room for another thing.
Penny: What should I have done? Taken a picture of us in the car
and put it in a pink frame with puffy paint around it that says "best fiance ever"?
Leonard: Doesn't sound that bad.
Penny: Well, good, because... that's why I did!
- Permalink: Well, good, because... that's why I did!
Sheldon: Are they making fun of us?
Sheldon: I miss the old days when I couldn't tell.
- Permalink: I miss the old days when I couldn't tell.
Leonard: I think what Penny meant is, the thought of you two in a mine is kind of funny-- it's like a cat riding a Roomba.
Howard: If they get scared, they'll have those hats with the lights on them, 'cause down there it's night-night all the time!
Bernadette: Maybe they could ride around in one of those mine carts that go,(squeakily): ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo.
Leonard: Yeah, it'll help them get away when they see a gh-gh-ghost...!
- Permalink: Yeah, it'll help them get away when they see a gh-gh-ghost...!
Penny: Wait, hang on-- you guys are gonna work in a mine?
Sheldon: Why not?
Penny: You had a panic attack when we went through the car wash.
- Permalink: You had a panic attack when we went through the car wash.
Penny: I hate her.
Emily: I hate her.
- Permalink: I hate her.
Leonard: Hold on. So, your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?
Leonard: And are you gonna use candy to lure them in?
Raj: We are now!
- Permalink: We are now!
Penny: Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a hook-up.
Emily: Did you kiss?
Emily: Were you naked?
Emily: So, it was a hook-up.
- Permalink: So, it was a hook-up.