The Big Bang Theory

The Big Bang Theory Quotes

Episode 16: "The Vacation Solution"

Howard: Why don't I talk to him about it in May?
Bernadette: In May, you're gonna be on the International Space Station.
Howard: They got a phone.
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Bernadette: And just to be safe, when you talk to him, don't bring up Jimmy Carter, gardeners, foreign people, homosexuals, Sean Penn, Vatican II, gun control, organic food, the designated hitter rule, recycling or the fact that you're Jewish.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Penny: All right, Howard Wolowitz, listen up. You sign anything she puts in front of you, because you are the luckiest man alive. If you let her go, there is no way you can ever find someone else -- speaking on behalf of all women, it is not going to happen; we had a meeting.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Amy: Oh ... are we nervous, Dr. Cooper?
Sheldon: No. What you see is a man trembling with confidence.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: Biologists are mean.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: This is now the only lab with glassware washed by a man with two doctorates and a restraining order signed by Carl Sagan.
Amy: Soap spots. Wash them again.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Amy: I'm excited to work with my boyfriend. It's going to be romantic.
Sheldon: Way to kill the mood.
 • Rating: 2.5 / 5.0

Penny: So you're saying if I became a famous movie star, we got married, you wouldn't sign a pre-nup?
Leonard: Absolutely not! If I'm gonna be stuck at home with the kids while you're on location cheating on me with Ryan Gosling ... then Leonard gots to get paid.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Amy [looking at Penny]: You would fetch a unicorn.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Penny: You know I'm a big believer in breaking bad news to a guy when you're in bed with him. That's how I told my high school boyfriend I slept with his brother. That's how I told his brother the same thing.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Berndette: Oh, I don't know. I don't want to manipulate him with sex.
Penny: Oh, sweetie ... that's what sex is for.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Leonard: Lobster traps?
Sheldon: Yes. That's how Velma and Scooby smuggled Shaggy into the old lighthouse.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: Good Lord! Would you stop that caterwauling?
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

University President: I hear Afghanistan is nice this time of year.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 15: "The Friendship Contraction"

Astronaut Mass: No problem ... Fruit Loops.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: Wine and a girl in the dark ... he's going to be bored out of his mind.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leonard: You call that a glowstick? [Pulls out his light saber and turns it on.] That is a glowstick!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Raj: Oh, how about Rocket Man?
 • Rating: Unrated

Howard: You can't do "Buzz." Buzz is taken
Raj: Buzz Lightyear is not real.
Howard: No, that's not what I'm talking about.
Raj: Well, are you talking about when he thought he was real?
Howard: No
 • Rating: Unrated

Penny: Sheldon, that's not what girlfriends are for. Although, you don't use them for what they're for, so what do I know?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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