Does it get any funnier than The Big Bang Theory quotes? There's a reason why this is the highest rated sitcom on television. And that has a lot to do with these Big Bang Theory quotes.

What kind of lunatic goes to McDonald's and gets fruit?

Bernadette

Look guys, it's just a guidance system. It's not like you're handing us the Death Star from Star Trek.

Colonel Williams

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the DOVE BARS I ATE. I'M PREGNANT. Try to keep up!

Leonard: You can't put that on Snapchat.
Raj: Fine, I'll put it on Facebook like a caveman.

Penny: When Leonard's feeling anxious, I make him take a long walk.
Amy: Does that help?
Penny: For a while, then he comes back.

I was counting on that money. I need to make as much as my wife so I don't have to try so hard in bed.

Howard

I now pronounce you husband and wife... and weird other husband who came with the apartment.

Bernadette

Sheldon: Why do people cry at weddings?
Mary: They're practicing for what's coming later.

Penny: Your parents are old. Anything unspeakable is finished by 9:30. Go to sleep!

I hope you're right. Because a grown man living with his brother and his brother's wife is weird.

Sheldon

So did you defile my mother, or not?

Sheldon

Excuse me, that is my mother you're talking about! However accurately...

Sheldon
Our section of The Big Bang Theory quotes covers pretty much everything Penny, Leonard, Sheldon and company has ever said. We review this sitcom on a weekly basis and we update our rundown of The Big Bang Theory quotes accordingly. You can - nay, you should! - review these one-liners and quotes on a weekly basis in order to stay current and in order to laugh. You do want to laugh, don't you? Good. We thought so. That's why we pride ourselves on being the top sources for The Bang Theory quotes on the entire World Wide Web.

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Why do people cry at weddings?
Mary: They're practicing for what's coming later.

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.