Crossing Guard: Is there a problem, sir?
Pope: [shakes head no]
Crossing Guard: Okay, then you need to move along.
Pope: My niece goes to this school, and this is her first day her and I promised her I'd be right here when she got out.
Crossing Guard: I appreciate that, sir, but you need to go now and come back after school's done.
Pope: Why?
Crossing Guard: Because a grown man sitting outside an elementary school is creepy.
