Mackey: How the hell did he end up here?
Rosie: More than likely he fell from up there.

J.D.: Drink?
Mackey: It's the national pastime, isn't it?

Mackey: Where are you going?
J.D.: You heard the man. He doesn't trust me. After all, I never served.
Mackey: We're not done here, Sergeant.
J.D.: I'll be outside if you need anything, Captain.

You all get some sleep. In the morning, we hunt down this AWOL son of a bitch.

Mackey [to JD]: Sorry to drag you from your costume party. What'd you go as: a midlife crisis?

You'd think a Navy SEAL would notice if he was missing an arm.

Mackey: [Blue's] people skills are ...
J.D.: About like somebody else I know.

J.D.: Who wants the body? Who wants the divers?
Evie: Let me see: dead, bloated body or buff Navy divers. Have fun with the floater.

Blue: Oh, my goodness. It's beautiful.
Mackey: Yeah, if you get off on pure math.

Mackey: Want to ask a man about a gun?
J.D.: Depends. Are you driving?

Mackey: Where am I supposed to get all this housey stuff?
J.D.: The housey-stuff store, I'd guess.

Blue: Is there a privacy angle I need to consider?
Mackey: Absolutely. Hack it then keep it private.

NCIS: Sydney Quotes

Let's just accept that I can piss further than you can, shall we?

Mackey [to JD]

JD: Good morning, Rosie.
Rosie: I'll be the judge of that, mate.