Only Murders In the Building
Tuesdays on HuluOliver Putnam Quotes
Oliver: Howard, Jonathan has got to go on. Who's going to replace our leading man on five minutes notice?
Howard: I don't know. But we will need someone who knows his every line, someone who's studied his every gesture, his every intonation. Someone who never sought the spotlight but is willing to accept the weight of the detective's hat.
Oliver: [snorts]
Loretta: What? Did I do good?
C-Can we just take a beat to appreciate how magical this is? The three of us, reunited at last, investigating as one?
No, I just need to read two words. Two words I'll never forget. "Didn't sing." This is Maxine's review of my original show, but it was never published.
Charles: Williams questioned everyone who crossed paths with Ben that night, and we can use those interrogations to make a timeline of that 30 minutes!
Oliver: Ah! I knew you were due for a good idea since your last one six months ago.
Doctor: Congratulations. It's a podcast.
Charles: Wah! [sucking]
Oliver: Mama!
Charles: Wah! Wah!
Oliver: Mabel... Mabel. Mabel! Mabel!
Charles: Wah!
Mabel: I have a lot to figure out. My gut keeps telling me it's Dickie.
Oliver: I told you to stay away ... actually, I don't mind Dickie. Not in the cast. Yes, let's go with Dickie. Dickie did it!
Charles: I wanted to say that I'm sorry.
Oliver: Oh, apology accepted. Friendship mended. You're hired.
Charles: I don't think she [Loretta] did it.
Oliver: Oh my God. That means she's a killer.
Charles: Why?
Oliver: Oh please, Charles. It's not like you're instincts on these things are famously good.
Oliver: Matthew Broderick! I've had sex dreams about this moment. How did you already nail that song?
Mathew: What can I say? I'm a vessel.
Oliver: Yes, say more. Or less. Just keep standing there so I can soak this in. Matthew Broderick! Broadway legend!
Oliver: Well, I'm so, so sorry for trying to breathe life into your dead career by putting you on Broadway.
Charles: My career was not dead. Did you know that Brazos wanted to do burrito sots? 32nd bonus episodes available exclusively on the Chipotle app. But I said no because I wanted to do this, which I realize now was a huge mistake.
Oliver: Oh, it was, huh? Well, maybe I should have hired someone who could actually sing.
Charles: Well, maybe you should have because I quit.
Charles, if the goal was to offer a more interesting anecdote, we're headed in the wrong direction.
