NBC Quotes
We keep trying to show everybody that we're the perfect store, and the truth is, we're not. Okay, we're just us. But we're here every single day. When it rains, when it snows, when it tornadoes. When there's a plague, and you're all safe at home except for when you come here to cough, we're here! Just trying to get you what you need, and all we want is to keep doing that.
Jonah
Amy: Look, I know that the foot thing is bad; I'm not trying to say that it's not, but you can't close this store. You just, you can't. I don't have a good reason why, but these people are my family. I grew up here; I spent half of my life --
Meghan: Amy, we're not closing this one.
Amy: What? Really?
Meghan: It has great square footage, nice and central; it'll make a perfect fulfillment center.
Amy: A fulfillment center? So, it's not going to be a store anymore? Well, what about everybody's jobs?
Meghan: Well, I'm sure they'll keep a handful of people, but...
Amy: No. You can't just do this to us.
Meghan: Well, Amy, you'll keep your job.
Amy: No, I won't. 'Cause I quit.
Cheyenne: Okay, guys, come on. Obviously, Jonah's got some ideas; we haven't even let him talk! Jonah.
Jonah: I mean, I'm not sure that there's anything that we can do. I'm just trying to be realistic. I mean, we've been flattened by these guys over and over. I just... yeah, I don't know what to say.
Cheyenne: Uh, hey, I'm not sure that's an idea as so much as a downer, so maybe next time, just don't stop the meeting if you don't have anything.
Jonah: Yeah, my bad.
Sandra: You think she'd be cool with paying you cash under the table?
Mateo: Of course, that's how all rich people pay their immigrants. You think Dianne Wiest has paid a payroll tax her entire life?
Jonah: You good, Glenn?
Glenn: No, I'm not good! Tell me, how do you think he removed them? Do you think maybe they just fell off like acorns?
Jonah: You know what, buddy? Maybe.
Natalie: Jonah, this is not the first time feet have been found here. In fact, the internet has already dubbed this store "Toe-zark Highlands."
Jonah: Is that -- is that so? That's the first I'm hearing of it.
Natalie: Why do you think he or she -- but let's be honest, he -- sees your store as an ideal dumping ground?
Jonah: Uh, well, Natalie, he probably likes it for the same reason everybody else does, you know? Our fast and friendly service, our convenient parking, and our strong sense of community.
Sandra: I don't think he answered her question.
Garrett: Yeah, that's a tough pivot.
Glenn: Mr. Anderson is not your typical heartless businessman. My father had a hardware store, Sturgis & Sons, and Cloud 9 undersold us and put us out of business, but my dad said that you were always a gentleman about it; even took him out to dinner on the night that the store closed for good!
Marcus: Wow, mensch alert!
Jonah: I'm sorry, did we not hear the “put him out of business” part?
Cheyenne: Lowell was just saying that he wants the store to be more “hands-on,” and I just worry that his ideas might be slightly fully wack.
Glenn: Okay, look. Lowell's methods may seem strange, but that's because we're not on his level intellectually. I mean, this morning, I watched a squirrel unwrap a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup for an hour.
Cheyenne: Glenn, you have to get TikTok. That's like, literally all it is.
You have really bad ideas, alright? You're not a genius; you're just a rick dick!
Cheyenne
Lowell: Glenn, I'm gonna tell you something painful, but you need to know. I didn't exactly buy your dad dinner that night. Truth is, that night I offered your dad a chance to save his store. I told him I'd stop underselling him if he could prove he could run with the big dogs by eating a can of dog food. It was very funny.
Glenn: What's the funny part?
Lowell: Well, he ate the dog food, and I closed his store anyway. I mean, you get it?
Glenn: I can see why Dad changed some details about that evening.
Lowell: Glenn, there are two kinds of people in this world. Weak people who eat dog food, and strong people who make them eat it. Now, what kind are you?
Glenn: Are we sure there's just the two?
Sandra: What matters is that Amy's single. Now here's the plan. You're gonna call Amy and say you want one last special night together. But here's what she doesn't know: I'm gonna poke a hole in the condom --
Jonah: What?! No! This isn't -- no! No. I'm over Amy, okay? And I'm with Hannah now.
Sandra: Then what the fuck have we been doing all day?!
That's the thing; I'm not better than the work. I'm a shadow person, and I like it!
Sandra
