Victor: Are you insane? We're in an elevator.
Gabrielle: Exactly! Going down...

Mike: I don't believe this. You are setting me up?
Susan: You need to move on, okay?
Mike: I don't wanna move on. I came here to see you.
Mike: Well, I'm not available. So, if you feel like kissing someone tonight point those lips at Maggie.

(Mike walks into Carlos' room, Edie is hiding next to the door)
Mike: (whispering) So uh... you got a girl in here?
Carlos: No, why?
Mike: Because when I came home, I thought I heard sex noises.
Carlos: (laughing) Nah, that was just me.

Susan: Look, Ian is going to come and invite you to dinner for Friday and you are not, I repeat, not going to accept.
Mike: Why is Ian inviting me to dinner?
Susan: He wants to thank you for saving us and he wants to show that he's not jealous of you. How's that for irony?
Mike: I didn't plan to kiss you but you didn't exacly resist.
Susan: I was in shock.
Mike: Why were you so upset when you mentioned Ian?
Susan: Because we just had a fight. About you.
Mike: Really? (smugly) Talk about me a lot?
Susan: Mike, I am marrying Ian. We have hired a caterer, we are going with the salmon so just back off.
(Mike sees Ian coming over to them)
Mike: Hey Ian.
Susan: Hi Ian. I just asked Mike, he can't make it.
Mike: Yeah, I'm sorry, I've got plans tonight.
Ian: Ah. But didn't we say Friday?
Mike: Friday? Oh, Friday I'm wide open.

Mrs. McCluskey: I don't really need to go the hospital. I'm fine.
Blond Man: You've fractured a rib and you might have a concussion. You need looking after.
Mrs. McCluskey: Some of the stuff in my freezer might melt. How about I just run out and get some ice and then meet you at the hospital.
Blond Man: Ma'm, you can replace groceries.
Mrs. McCluskey: You don't understand, some of my groceries have sentimental value.
Blond Man: Sorry.
Mrs. McCluskey: Well, I don't need to ask your permission.
Blond Man: Ma'm, no!
Mrs. McCluskey: Get your hands of me, you pig ape!
Blond Man: Get the restraints
Mrs. McCluskey: I'm gonna sue your ass.
(The power and the lights go back on)
Mrs. McCluskey: Well, what are we waiting for? Get me to the hospital, I'm not a well woman.

(Lights are out)
Susan: You know, I don't believe we need a flashlight, my eyes have totally adjusted for the dark.
(sound of glass breaking)
Ian: What was that?
Susan: Don't walk in the kitchen!

Victor: I want you to organize a press conference and then I want you to help me prep for it.
Assistant: This is gonna be a bloodbath, I don't know how you're gonna prep.
Victor: Just give me a bucket of piranhas, I'll stick my head in it.

Susan: Thanks a lot. Now Maggie thinks you're Charles Manson.
Mike: I don't care. I love you.
Susan: Don't say that.
Mike: It's true. I remember everything now. When I got run over I was on my way to propose to you.
Susan: I don't wanna talk about it.
Mike: I do. What would you have said?
Susan: You know what I would have said. It doesn't matter now.
Mike: The hell it doesn't Susan. If you can look me in the eye and tell me that when we kissed you felt nothing then I'll just go. But only if you can say that and really mean it. Can you?

Mike: What, he didn't tell you how we played poker for you?
Susan: You bet me in a game of poker?
Ian: It's not--not how it sounds. I merely suggested that--that if I won the hand, then he--he would stop badgering you.
Susan: And if he won?
Ian: Well, I--I forget the exact terms, but the point is, he lost, as I knew he would. I never would have wagered you if I didn't have a very good hand.
Susan: Get out!
Ian: Susan, please.
Mike: You heard her.
Susan: That goes for you, too. I've had it with both of you. You're tugging at me like I'm some kind of wishbone.
Ian: You're just upset.
Susan: No, I am beyond upset. You two want a decision? Well, here's what I decide. There will be no kissing, and there will be no wedding, and there will be no damn cake!

(Gabrielle and Victor are stuck in an elevator, Gabrielle starting to undress Victor)
Victor: Come on, cut it out, the power could come on at any moment.
Gabrielle: I know, that's what makes it so exciting, the risk.
Victor: But I, I'm kinda running for mayor here, remember?
Gabrielle: It's an elevator, silly, it has an emergency stop button... I don't.

Tom: (sweating) I need another pill and please tell the kids to turn down the TV.
Mrs. McCluskey: I yell, they turn it down. I walk away, they turn it up. Vicious circle.
Tom: Surely you can control five little kids.
Mrs. McCluskey: Can I beat them?
Tom: No!
Mrs. McCluskey: Then my hands are tied.

Passion. It's a force so potent we still remember it long after it's faded away. A drive so alluring it can push us into the arms of unexpected lovers. A sensation so overwhelming, it can knock down walls we've built to protect our hearts. A feeling so intense, it resurfaces even though we tried so hard to keep it buried. Yes, of all emotions, passion is the one that gives us a reason to live, and an excuse to commit all sorts of crimes.

Mary Alice