No, thanks, I had poop for lunch.

Joan

You are one of the best liars I have ever met, and that's saying something.

Sherlock

Henry Watson: How'd you know that was me?
Joan: 'Grover Ogden'? We lived on Ogden Avenue, Grover was our dog, and by the way, that's how you make a PORN name, not a PEN name!

[regarding her father's book] It's ridiculous! Sherlock and I do not run around with guns, and we don't get into kung fu fights with criminals, and we sure as hell do not sleep together!

Joan

I've always believed luck to be a function of intent. In this case, mine.

Red

Donald, I find him so stiff so much of the time. He doesn't appreciate life's trimmings.

Red

He follows you around like a faithful bloodhound, but you still don't know...

The Director

The cabal's not coming, they're already here.

Ressler

I sacrifice for the needs of the neighborhood and you my friend, are on the other side of that scale.

Woz

I have a daughter, okay, which means you have a daughter because that badge you've got in your pocket, that makes us family.

Harlee

Harlee: How much do you want to know?
Woz: How much do I need to know?

It happened so slowly I didn't realize and so quickly I never saw it coming.

Harlee