Maybe your age is catching up to your legendary hard on.

Helen

Oscar: Looks like you got away with it. You know what I just realized? I could tell your wife.
Noah: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Oscar: Yeah you do. I'll tell you what. How about ten grand to make sure Helen never finds out.
Noah: Are you kidding me?
Oscar: It's a little something I just thought of.
Noah: I don't have that kind of money.
Oscar: Yeah? Well, I think you can get it. So I'll give you a week and then I'll tell her. Have a safe trip. I have your cell.

See? That's what happens when you don't apologize for 50 years.

Helen

Why do you keep denying my reality?

Whitey

Jane: I never enlisted, but I don't feel guilty about it.
Mulaney: Yeah, but its different for you.
Jane: Why because I am a girl?
Mulaney: No, because you are an immigrant.
Jane: You know what John, If anything I am more patriotic than you. I made a decision to come here.
Mulaney: Yeah, when you were two.

I haven't felt this unpatriotic since I took that picture in college with Michale Moore, granted at the time I thought he was Louis Anderson.

Mulaney

The real nice guys are The Expendables.

Jane

Marine: Where is your latrine.
Jane: Latrine. So French.

I only regret that I have but one seat to give for my country.

Motif

When it comes to the military, I am a special type of coward. I know something needs to be done, I just really hope that someone else does it first.

Mulaney

Homer: What I feel is envy.
Lisa: Wow! He's right.

Bart: What's a game show?
Homer: Something you make sketches about.