Quotes
I hope I am not a threat to you. I only wish to excel to make you look better than you already do.
Fuentes
The Mother: What are you doing?
Ted: Remembering this.
You will be shocked kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That's why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.
Ted
And that's how it goes kids. The friends, neighbors, drinking buddies and partners in crime you love so much when you're young, as the years go by, you just lose touch.
Ted
You take a man's wife before you take his accidental curly.
Marshall
No more books Ted. I don't like the person you become when you read books.
Barney
Ted: Singles tables are cruel. I mean what if you went to a wedding and there was a table of all fat guys?
Marshall: That would be awesome.
You are more and more like your Daddy every day but he never drilled this ranch and mark my words, neither will you.
Bobby
I still can't believe you excavated the entire tank. It's so wasteful, unnecessary and expensive. It's so American. I love it.
Fuentes
Brennan: If you disappoint me, I will dismiss you.
Fuentes: How Cuban of you. She is fiery.
Cam: Yes. Be careful. We've all been burned.
Booth: OK. You're saying that Jesus and Superman are the same?
Brennan: Jesus walks on water. Superman flies. No different.
Christopher: So if you need any advice from someone who's been through this before, with the same bride.
John Ross: That's the last one of those you're going to get, cousin.