Quotes
Children are terrible artists and artists are crooks.
Ron
I’m getting the epiphany sweats!
Leslie
It was a pizza stuffed with little pizzas. And the crusts of those little pizzas were stuffed with chocolate.
Leslie
The bride wore a gown made by her friend Ann Perkins and the groom wore a butt so perfect it could make an angel hang himself.
Leslie
[to Fitz] You are stressed, and you are scared, and you want this. You want to win this election so bad you can't breathe, and I understand that. But you don't trust me.
Olivia
[to Olivia] You are not resigning. I refuse to accept your resignation. You can't leave me. I'm not losing you again.
Fitz
Crosby: We were just playing who's the blackest sheep in the family game but you're not allowed to play.
Sarah: Mr. Perfect pants.
[to Harrison] Do you even know how to use it? The safety, and the clip, and how you're not supposed to tuck it in your waistband or you could shoot off your penis?
Abby
Abby: Are you serious? You're stealing my gun.
Harrison: Borrowing it.
Abby: Harrison, you do not need to act all crazy just because everyone else here is. We are the normal ones. You and me. If we need to borrow a gun, we ask. Also, why do you need it?
I don't mean to barge in but I got such a good bottle of wine. I know it's good because I stole it from Carl.
Sarah
Mellie: I came up with a list of men. Eligible bachelors. Prominent, smart. Pick one.
Olivia: Pick one?
Mellie: Any one of them, it's an equal opportunity list. Tall, short, black, white, Republican, Democrat. I don't care who, just pick one and start dating him. Publicly. So the everyone can stop thinking that you're screwing my husband. Smile, Olivia. The world is watching.
Olivia: Why are you doing this?
Mellie: Because I like it when my husband is the President. I worked very hard for it. I've done a great deal to get us here, and you are going to get him across the finish line. But you can't do that if people know what kind of person you really are. Cheers!