Quotes
You wouldn't know the truth if it bit you on the ass and held on, would ya!
Ron
So if I were you, I'd run out that door while I still had a chance. I'd also waste 5 precious minutes of my head start in the race to freedom, giving that swell guy Archer a combination thank-you-goodbye blow job.
Archer
I was concerned about you - blow me!
Archer
Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.
I am totally digging this whole Queen Kong vibe.
Cheryl
Cyril: How do you not know the different kinds of porn?
Archer: Because I have sex with actual women, Cyril! My girlfriend's not equal parts the internet, a tube of Kentucky jelly, self-loathing and a sock!
Cyril: You could pose him with Woodhouse
Krieger: God knows he's a little GILF.
Cyril: He can't come in without a warrant - well, unless you invite him in.
Archer: He's not a vampire, idiot. Plus it's daytim
The last thing you need right now is a big, shit-eating "I told you so."
Archer
This is only somewhat like that old gypsy woman said!!
Cheryl
Malory: Well, she won't go to rehab and you won't let her die with dignity...
Lana: From an overdose of cocaine cake?!
Malory: It's good because it's cocaine!
Archer: Oh my God, and little kids eat it!?