Kelly: [after seeing Ash hide duck for cover] What's the matter?
Ash: Oh, the cops. They get all squirrely when they find a demon baby in a trunk.

• Permalink: Oh, the cops. They get all squirrely when they find a demon baby in a trunk.
• Added: April 03, 2018

Officer: When they strap you to the table, I'm gonna ask to stick in the needle myself.
Ash: Yeah, jokes on you pal. Michigan doesn't even HAVE the death penalty.

• Permalink: Yeah, jokes on you pal. Michigan doesn't even HAVE the death penalty.
• Added: April 03, 2018

[before attempting to shoot Pablo] Tell Kelly I said thanks for her flesh and blood.

Kaya

• Permalink: Tell Kelly I said thanks for her flesh and blood.
• Added: April 03, 2018

Pablo: Is that a chainsaw I hear?
Demon Ash: Why yes it is. Where you come from they're better known as "motosierra."

• Permalink: Why yes it is. Where you come from they're better known as "motosierra."
• Added: April 03, 2018

Brandy: [after seeing Demon Ash] What the hell!?
Ash: That's what I was trying to tell you. Ruby went to Kandarian Kinko's and this asshole popped out.

• Permalink: That's what I was trying to tell you. Ruby went to Kandarian Kinko's and this asshole popped...
• Added: April 03, 2018

Brandy: So are you saying that you ARE a demon?
Ruby: Oh honey, no ... but your dad is.

• Permalink: Oh honey, no ... but your dad is.
• Added: April 03, 2018

Ash: Whoa, another dumbass double. Are you what used to be little me?
Demon Ash: That's right. I'm all grown up now. Ash I'm so disappointed in you, you've gone soft.
Ash: Soft? I can hold my own pal.

• Permalink: Soft? I can hold my own pal.
• Added: April 03, 2018

Ruby: Hundreds of years I spent looking for that book. And two years in this shithole of a school.
Brandy: [to Ash] Oh my God, you were right!

• Permalink: Oh my God, you were right!
• Added: April 03, 2018