Cristela Season 1 Episode 2: "Soul Mates" Quotes
Alberto, you're a great guy and one day you're going to make a woman semi, sort of happy.
Cristela
Look, I'm sorry I lied to you, okay. But this is the only way I could do this so you could get to know the real me, without all the sexual tension.
Alberto [to Cristela]
Oh my God! I flirted with you!
Cristela [to Alberto]
How dare you misrepresent yourself? And on the internet of all places.
Cristela
If he starts murdering you...text me.
Josh
Cristela: How many guys like sports and Broadway musicals?
Josh: Lots. Mostly serial killers.
You don't want a dapper dog. You want a dirty dog.
Alberto
Daniela: I just get a little jealous when I read these men tell Cristela how fascinating they think she is.
Felix: You know why they think that, they haven't met her.
Daniela: How come you've never written me a poem?
Felix: That new tile in your bathroom is my poem to you.
Alberto: You know what's funny, I actually like a woman who can challenge me intellectually.
Cristela: Then you're in luck cause that's all women.
