Matt: But she's so tight, it's like getting one of the Garfield things off your car window --
Sean: Vivid.

• Permalink: Vivid.
• Added: February 15, 2015

Matt: Did I ever tell you my dad was in Korea?
Sean: Oh wow!
Matt: Oh, not the war — the country.

• Permalink: Oh, not the war — the country.
• Added: February 15, 2015

Just tell her she’ll be fine, and imagine that there’s a soundtrack.

Mr. LeBlanc

• Permalink: Just tell her she’ll be fine, and imagine that there’s a soundtrack.
• Added: February 15, 2015

It’s like playing chess with Death, if Death were cranky.

Sean

• Permalink: It’s like playing chess with Death, if Death were cranky.
• Added: February 15, 2015

Carol: I kind of have an emergency.
Beverly: Okay --
Carol: I need a pet name for Helen.
Beverly: Right, I think I heard about this on CNN.

• Permalink: Right, I think I head about this on CNN.
• Added: February 15, 2015

Carol: You should get the guy who did Merc!
Beverly: I didn’t know Merc had a heart!

• Permalink: I didn’t know Merc had a heart!
• Added: February 15, 2015

I’m sure everything is going to be okay, and dad is going to come through with flying colors. But in the unlikely event that he doesn’t, hypothetically, what the fuck happens to me?!?

Mrs. LeBlanc

• Permalink: I’m sure everything is going to be okay, and dad is going to come through with flying colors....
• Added: February 15, 2015

I’ve got my sister’s wedding, and that’s a whole other nightmare. She’s in a chair, so there’s figuring out the ramps.

Morning

• Permalink: I’ve got my sister’s wedding, and that’s a whole other nightmare. She’s in a chair, so...
• Added: February 15, 2015

Carol: But I’d rather have that than some guy who doesn't even invite me to his son’s bar mitzvah, but wants me to blow him in his wife’s wedding dress.
Beverly: Merc?
Carol: Yeah.
Beverly: And were you in the dress or was he in the dress --
Carol: I’m in the wedding dress.
Beverly: Oh, I wasn’t clear.

• Permalink: Oh, I wasn’t clear.
• Added: February 15, 2015