Dan: Epperley asked me to pull the lemon Louis Vuittons.
Blair: Oh. You poor lost lamb. Let me help you.
Dan: I didn't date Serena van der Woodsen for two years to not come away knowing that those are Marc Jacobs and they're mustard.

Dan: We're interns. I may not know couture but I know how to collate.
Blair: And I know how to staple, so stay out of my way or I'll use one to attach your tongue to your shoulder blade.

Nothing says January like a brand new Cold War.

Gossip Girl

Epperley: Thousands of applications. These are the best of the best.
Blair: I'm the best of the best. I'm Blair Waldorf.
Epperley: Assuming that's your way of saying you're the most distinguished, ambitious student at your school, then they're all Blair Waldorfs.

Epperley: This is real life, not some Hollywood chick flick where an intern with a scrunchy gets a makeover and triumphs in the end.
Blair: I have never owned a scrunchy.
Epperley: I think I read that. On your resume.

Damien: I don't give anyone anything that they don't come looking for.
Serena: Okay, well then I guess you're only half responsible that I almost died.

Blair: Fashion is the most powerful art there is. It's movement, design and architecture all in one. It shows the world who we are and who we'd like to be. Just like your scarf suggests that you'd like to sell used cars.
Dan: Vanessa gave me this scarf.

Dan: You gotta be kidding me. Scorpio Rising was a great film.
Blair: That dreck puts the "ick" in esoteric.

Lily: I get Ben out on parole but Serena and Eric continue to treat me like I'm toxic.
Rufus: I know you did what you could, but Ben's still going to have a criminal record. Give them time.

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