Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 4: "Memoirs of an Invisible Dan" Quotes
Looks like it's going to be a hot time in this old town tonight. Let's just hope Lonely Boy and his book don't go up in flames.
Gossip Girl
Dan: I'm sorry to call everyone here on such short notice, but... Alright, you know how there's been all this speculation about the book that's being published by an anonymous author.
Nate: Yeah. Gossip Girl said it was about us.
Blair: Yeah, it was probably written by some loser who doesn't even know us.
Dan: Well not exactly. I am that loser. I wrote it. And it is based on you. All of you. Sort of.
Dan: Hey, everyone. Thank you so much for coming.
Serena: I only have five minutes.
Blair: This better be really important.
Nate: What is this all about?
Lily: Is everything all right?
Charlie: This isn't about me, right?
Rufus: Yeah. What's going on, Dan?
Chuck: This is going to be fun.
Nate: What are you guys doing here?
Blair: We must have all gotten the same text from Dan.
Rufus: The last time he was this secretive he showed up with a baby.
Chuck: Don't worry, you're not about to become a grandfather. Though Dan is about to give birth in another way.
Serena walking in: Okay, I'm pretty sure this is how every murder mystery begins.
Blair: Do you know what this summoning is about?
Chuck: I do, but I can't say. I'm sworn to secrecy.
Blair: Since when do you bite your tongue?
Chuck: I'm learning.
Blair: Well isn't Humphrey becoming quite the drama queen.
Chuck: Isn't that usually your role?
Blair: I prefer drama princess now.
Chuck: How are you, by the way?
Blair: I'm okay. Thanks for asking.
Nate: Why do you even hold on to that phone if you're not going to answer it?
Diana: Because I don't want to have to explain how I got it. I am too intrigued by our mysterious Ivy to just toss it away.
Diana: If only we had Blair Waldorf's phone.
Nate: I told you, she's my friend and my friends are off-limits.
Diana: Morals. How quaint.
Daniel never agrees to do anything. The man took three years to make a pair of shoes.
Jane
Blair: You don't think your family's going to be upset, do you? I don't want them to think of me as the star of some trashy MTV show like, "Unmarried and Pregnant Princesses" or, I don't know, "Royally Screwed."
Louis: My mother will be over-the-moon. The job of any princess is to provide an heir to the kingdom. And that is exactly what you are doing.
Blair: An heir to a kingdom lives within me. How very Shakespeare.
Louis: Comedy not a tragedy, I hope.
Louis: You look gorgeous. I can't wait to tell the whole world the good news.
Blair: Me too.
Blair: I now understand why women used to go into confinement. It wasn't because of modesty, but vanity. My boobs. Oh, I'm huge!
Louis: Sorry, darling. I was just reading about how some pregnant women have mood swings. Apparently they didn't know you before pregnancy.
I'm going to need six copies of this book. They should probably be hand-delivered.
