Wednesdays 10:00 PM on USA

When you are making a living as a hooker, then you can dig this out of storage.


Just drive or I'll tell your girlfriend about your other girlfriend.


The next time you screw someone in the guest bedroom, just remember I do box pleats not hospital corners.


Divorce is like going to war. It's bloody, brutal, and expensive.


My specialties include chicken parmigiana, cognitive behavioral therapy, and kicking my patients' butts. Beyond that, if you would like a money back guarantee then you should go buy a washing machine.


My Dad used to say, life is like a football game. There's winners and there's losers.


My first divorce was like Vietnam. The second, kind of like a sit in.


Janet: Who's Trent?
Dani: Apparently he is a class ditching delinquent who is missing my daughter's hotness. This is awful.

No matter who you are, no matter how much protective gear you wear, at some point you're gonna get the living crap kicked out of you.

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