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Parks-and-recreation

Leslie: Just to be clear, that was a friend punch. There was no flirtatious meaning behind that punch I just gave your arm.
Mark: I do understand. You've made it abundantly clear that there is absolutely no romantic element to our relationship.

Ron: Leslie. Some guy who owns a gay bar sent you a cake.
Leslie: Pawnee has a gay bar?
Ron: The Bulge. It's behind my house.
Leslie: The Bulge is a gay bar? The nights I've wasted there ...

Leslie: I know you're not gay.
Tom: No, I'm not.
Leslie: But you're effeminate.
Tom: What?
Leslie: Well, you're wearing a peach shirt with a coiled snake on it.
Tom: That's because it was featured in Details magazine, and it's awesome.

Leslie: They thought that was a political gesture? No one eat that. Tom, step into my office.
Tom: It's also my office.
Leslie: Whatever.

People in this town don't really like their government officials being activists. Last year a garbageman was suspended for wearing a Livestrong bracelet.

Leslie

Chimpanzees are very smart, so we had them graduate from college. They like to throw their feces, so we were hoping they would throw their hats. But they just threw their feces.

Leslie
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