Kevin: Given how much dancing there is in Heathers, Evelyn and I felt that we should bring on a choreographer. So, give a big Heathers "hello" to Riverdale’s very own Fly Girl, Toni Topaz!
[Everyone claps as Toni walks onto the stage]
Cheryl: Ummm … does anyone have a chainsaw? Because WHAT. THE. F…!

• Permalink: Does anyone have a chainsaw?
• Added: March 20, 2019

Betty: I know what you’re up to.
Evelyn: Lowering Sweet Pea’s solo?
Betty: Cute. This entire musical is just one big recruitment drive for you, isn’t it?
Evelyn: I’m sorry, I don’t follow.
Betty: The Farm is sponsoring the play. You strong-armed your way into co-directing, your warm up sermons, exercising trauma through art … screams cult recruitment!
[Evelyn places her hand on Betty’s hand. Betty glares at her]
Evelyn: Betty, dissect these trust issues.
[Evelyn pulls her hand back]
Evelyn: The Farm is producing and I’m co-directing for one simple reason: to have BIG FUN.

• Permalink: The Farm is producing and I’m co-directing for one simple reason: to have BIG FUN.
• Added: March 20, 2019

Betty: Arch, are you and Josie dating?
Archie: Well, I mean…
Josie: Uhh…
Reggie: Did you know about this?
Veronica: What? No, I had no idea.
Reggie: The fact that your ex boo has a new girlfriend has nothing to do with you suddenly being all in with me?
Evelyn: Veronica, do you have something to share?
Veronica: I just found out that my parents are separating. My family is unconventional, to say the least, but I always thought no matter they’d stay together.
[Betty moves to comfort Veronica]
Evelyn: And that is what in the theater we call a “breakthrough.”

• Permalink: I just found out that my parents are separating.
• Added: March 20, 2019

Cheryl: Ummm, did you have a lobotomy for breakfast? You’re wearing my signature color!
Toni: You don’t own the color red. Red existed before you.
Cheryl: Not at Riverdale High. Here, I invented red. I am red.
[Cheryl snaps her fingers and two girls stand behind her]
Cheryl: Sorry, but this school is not big enough for the both of us, faux-pink lady. And I was here first. Go to Centerville High or Westerberg, I don’t care. But you have until first bell Monday to clear every trace of yourself out of these halls. Copy?
[Cheryl flips her hair in Toni’s face and walks away]

• Permalink: Not at Riverdale High. Here, I invented red. I am red.
• Added: March 20, 2019

I knew my dad would like it.

Evelyn

• Permalink: I knew my dad would like it.
• Added: March 20, 2019