Roseanne
Tuesdays 8:00 PM on ABCRoseanne Season 1 Quotes
You just can't stand for anybody to have their own opinions about anything, can ya? You tell them how stupid they are all the time, and you get them to question what they believe in their hearts is the right thing to do until they make some enormous mistake that tears America apart, and brings the world to the bring of a nuclear apocalypse.
Jackie
Jackie: You kept saying what a disaster it would be if she got elected, and how I wasn't seeing the big picture. And how everything was rigged, and I got into the booth and I voted for Jill Stein.
Roseanne: Who's Jill Stein?
Jackie: Some doctor.
Jackie, it is not my fault that I happen to be a charismatic person who's always right about everything.
Roseanne: I forgive you.
Jackie: I know how hard that was for you!
Roseanne: What the hell?
Darlene: Shhh. Don't spook it. That's the great North American bottom heavy white wino. It appears to be doing some type of cleaning ritual.
Roseanne: I hear they only do this every ten years when they really need something.
You guys could blow fifty-thousand dollars for me if she decides to not use me as a surrogate. Could you please put away anything you got free with a tank of gas?
Becky
All of your relatives died from alcoholism. The one who didn't drink were killed by the ones who did.
Roseanne: What are you doing with all my pictures?
Becky: I don't want her to think obesity runs in our family so I'm getting rid of the ones where you guys were fat.
Roseanne: Those are the only ones where we look happy!
You live with mom and dad. You can't even escape the gravitational pull of this house.
Becky
I realized I'm old and I can do whatever I want.
Dan
Oh, good job Dad! We finally got our red dot on the sex offenders map.
Darlene
I know you've all seen normal people. Can you pick one and act like that?
Becky
