Scream Queens Season 2 Episode 5: "Chanel Pour Homme-icide" Quotes
Don't worry, Mom. I'll take care of everything.
Cassidy Cascade
Listen up, bovines. Polite society says we can't haze you. But we can insist that you clean Chanel #5's bedpans before we return home, and she takes monster dumps. I want that thing sanitized. I want it so clean that we could eat novelty sundaes out of it. Now!
Dr. Brock Holt: Hello, everyone! I have good news and better news. The good news is our accents have all apparently settled into the same dignified upper crust, inconsistent English accent.
Chanel #3: It's really incredible. We sound like the cast of 'Remains of the Day.'
Chanel #5: The coffee is disgusting.
Zayday: It's not coffee, it's tea.
Chanel #5: I'm pretty sure that I ordered coffee.
Zayday: You didn't order anything, because this is a home, not a restaurant.
How dare you? Just for that, I'm gonna make you go get me more sweatpants. These ones are full of farts.
Chanel #5
Chanel #5: Morfan, get out of the way. Who is that you're talking to?
Chanel: #5 may I introduce Chanel Pour-Homme.
Chanel: I could have sworn I heard Chanel #5 scream.
Munsch: How could you hear her from across the hospital?!
#3: She's drawn to Chanel #5's pain like a shark to blood in the water. She's developed a fine tune addiction to it.
Chanel: Besides, I don't know if I could love anyone after what happened with Chad. I need time.
Dr. Holt: Take all you need. Not really.
Chanel: I probably only need a couple of hours. I have, like, zero emotional object permanence.
I loved Denise as much as the rest of you. Which admittedly wasn't that much.
Munsch
Chanel: I don't know where Hester is! I mean, am I my sister's keeper?!
Chanel #5: Maybe she killed herself!
Chanel #3: Or maybe she's moved to a neighboring city with a less onerous tax burden and started killing people there.
Chanel: Honestly, that's probably what happened. I mean, she's always going on about how onerous the taxes are here, isn't that right?
Addicted? Where do you get off, you boozy old hag? Yes, I take a daily dose of pethidine! And yes, it's a very large dose, something like you would prescribe for a Clydesdale. But you know what? I love it, it is hands-down the best friend I have ever had. It is lover, friend, all wrapped up in some tiny little white tuxedo. I mean, I do, I do, I do, I think about it morning, noon, and night. But addicted? No, I am not. [pause] Yes, I obviously am, but how dare you, you creaky old whore?!
Nurse Hoffel
