Scream Queens Season 2 Episode 3: "Handidates" Quotes
Denise: Damn it, you homely bitch, tell us who the Green Meanie is before he kills again!
Hester: It's too late.
It's a 29 carat, internally flawless, fancy vivid diamond in the extremely rare whore cut, which is the preferred cut for mistresses of Russian billionaires.
Chanel
I don't want to hurt Chanel. Isn't that weird? I just want her to be happy, I want her to have a great wedding day. I don't want my worries about my future studliness to get in the way of her special day. Whatever happens down the road, I want this day to be for her. Maybe I almost love her, you know?
Chad
Chad: Chanel Oberlin, will you...
Chanel: Oh my god! Is this really happening?!
Chad: ... get your lawyers to look over this prenup?
Chanel: Are you asking me to marry you?
Chad: Oh, not really. No, I'll consider asking you to marry me once you sign the prenup. You're gonna want a whole legal team to look over this, there's a lot of stipulations and some pretty specific riders...
Chanel: Chad, I feel like I'm in a fairy tale. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!
Chanel, I'm in love with you.
Chad
I'm Chad Radwell, and I always win. No matter what.
Chad
The next morning, I woke up on my back, covered in puke. And I realized, I did die. And now I'm cursed to walk the earth for all eternity. Like a Highlander.
Cassidy Cascade
Chad: Oh, that's great. Are we having a sperm-off?
Dr. Holt: No.
Chad: Oh, okay. Because, you know what? I would win. Because I banged both women in this room. With my sperm!
Chanel: Alright, let's get this body down to the meat locker.
Chanel #3: Last time we tried to hide a lot of bodies in the meat locker, like, every single one of them got stolen.
Alright, Green Meanie -- whoever you are -- let's go, bitch.
Zayday
Look, you're gonna get this, because obviously we're both really handsome. Girls really wanna bone me. Okay? When I die, I've left instructions to grind me up into a fine powder to be given out to underprivileged dudes who have trouble getting laid. Because I'm convinced if they rub my essence on them, they're pretty much guaranteed to get ass.
Chad
Chanel #3: Can I just say, for the record, before we begin, that yoga is just stretching for douchebags?
Cassidy Cascade: Noted.
