Scream Queens Season 1 Episode 13: "The Final Girl(s)" Quotes
Everyone got what they wanted. And even though the Chanels didn't actually kill anyone, they perpetuated the system that created me, my brother, Pete, and Gigi. So if anyone should pay for this, it should be them.
Hester
To our fellow students, we are super sorry that you are dead. We didn't know all of you that well, but some of you were hot. I always wanted to have sex with a deaf girl. Thank you.
Memorial inscription
Sam: I just don't understand how deep the hole is supposed to be.
Chanel: Whore deep! What kind of a question is that?!
You're probably thinking, what kind of a person could drive a six inch stiletto into her own eye socket? A person who did her homework, that's who! First, I had to get an x-ray of my own skull, then I had to calculate the proper length of the heel, the angle of the insertion, with just the right amount of force to slip behind the eyeball without damaging the eye socket. Also it helps to be totally frickin' insane.
Hester
Hi, it's me, Hester. You may have noticed my eyepatch. It's temporary. The advantage of stabbing yourself in the eye with a stiletto heel is that you know just where to jab it in order to miss the important organs, like your optic nerve or your brain. You might have noticed that I'm the only Chanel left. That's because I got away with it. It was a plan twenty years in the making and it worked.
Hester [voiceover]
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go disinvite Jerry Seinfeld from speaking at commencement. He told a joke about a woman once, allegedly.
Dean Munsch
