The Conners
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCThe Conners Season 2 Quotes
Dan: I may be to the point of going to the mall and hurling myself down the escalator.
Louise: Well, there’s nobody in the mall. You’ll lay there for days.
Dan: You don’t have the money.
Darlene: Well, you know what? I’ll sell my car and I’ll take the bus. I’ll get a second job, I’ll go back to the casino. I will do whatever it takes so that we don’t fall behind again.
Louise: Why didn’t you tell me? We’re a couple now, we’re supposed to be there for one another.
Dan: You’re right. Give me $4,000.
Louise: I don’t have it but I have cleavage and I know how to use it.
Dan: Alright, let’s go. Better to have them and not need them than need them and not have them.
This lack of communication does not bode well for our fake marriage.
Becky
Darlene: Why aren’t you guys excited?
Harris: Because we’ve been through this before.
Mark: You said we were going to move to Chicago with Ben and that didn’t happen.
Harris: One of you is going to sleep with Dad and screw this up.
Ben: Well, it is kind of my turn.
Damn, it just never ends for you guys. One of your ancestors mess with a witch or something?
Ben
Ben: I know you’re screwed up and I still want to live with you. That makes me even more screwed up so if it fails it will be my fault.
Darlene: That shouldn’t make me feel better but it does.
Ben: That’s because you’re screwed up.
It’s not what you think. Harper has a new boyfriend and wanted to practice kissing. The next thing I knew she went all Twilight on my neck even though she knows I’m team Jacob.
Mark
Ed: What’s a CPAP mask?
Dan: It’s a mask attached to a hose that forces air down my throat so I don’t stop breathing in the middle of the night.
Ed: So you look like Tom Cruise in Top Gun if he was an old man who couldn’t breathe on his own.
I figured since hot dogs are our family’s main source of food and we regularly have the power turned off that this would be worth learning.
Mark
Ben: Hey, you’re still gay, right?
Mark: Yup, all day, every day.
Ben: Good for you. You stay the course.
Ben, the kids love and respect you which proves that you know nothing about parenting.
Darlene
