Phil: This, my friend, is full of active fart.
Mike: So, you farted into a jar and you saved it?
Phil: This is not some whimsical pursuit, Mike. This is a valid scientific experiment. And an important one at that. How long can a fart retain its unique smell composition in a sealed jar?

• Permalink: This is not some whimsical pursuit, Mike. This is a valid scientific experiment. And an...
• Added: May 15, 2016

Ugh, you just don't get it. That's thirty years of science down the tubes.

Phil

• Permalink: Ugh, you just don't get it. That's thirty years of science down the tubes.
• Added: May 15, 2016

Melissa: 'Cuz whoever sent this thing is trouble.
Todd: You don't know that, they could've been nice!
Melissa: Nice? No, a nice person says, "Hey, guys, I'm alive! Here's a pound cake." They don't plant a freakin' camera at our front door doing recon on us.

• Permalink: Nice? No, a nice person says, "Hey, guys, I'm alive! Here's a pound cake." They don't plant a...
• Added: May 15, 2016

The only time you even came close to being special was when everybody died but you.

Mike

• Permalink: The only time you even came close to being special was when everybody died but you.
• Added: May 15, 2016

Carol: Oh my gosh, my water broke!
Gail: Way too soon for that, hun.
Carol: Oh yeah. It's pee.

• Permalink: Oh yeah. It's pee.
• Added: May 15, 2016

There's a life in there. It's a life that's never gonna know the pre-virus world we lived in. Only this world. And this world can't suck. I won't stand for it.

Carol

• Permalink: There's a life in there. It's a life that's never gonna know the pre-virus world we lived in....
• Added: May 15, 2016

Todd. Erica. Full disclosure, I have had a baker's dozen wines but I think I'm seeing something kinda on the spectacular side out here. Can I get a little confirma-doodle-do on this?

Gail

• Permalink: Todd. Erica. Full disclosure, I have had a baker's dozen wines but I think I'm seeing...
• Added: May 15, 2016