Carol: Phil. You got me drunk, then while I was passed out, you drove me to Malibu non-consensually?
Phil: Sorry, Carol, but when you're making a sacrifice for someone, you don't ask them if it's OK, you just go ahead and do it. Because that's what people do for those about whom they care. Direct words from you.
Carol: You little skunk. You just lifted up your skunk tail and you sprayed me with the sweet scent of selflessness.

Carol: We're staying in Tucson.
Phil: Carol, I can't ask you to make that sacrifice for me.
Carol: You didn't ask me, I'm just doing it 'cuz that's what people do for those about whom they care!

[to the doll version of the Tucson crew] Hi, everyone. It's been a long time. Hi, Melissa. I like your top. Maybe I could bedazzle it for you.

Carol

Carol: Hey, hold on, I'm gonna go slip into something a little more comfortable.
Phil: Prosecco?
Carol: No, probably a robe.

Phil: I just wanna be a better man for you, Carol.
Carol: And I wanna be a better man for you.
Phil: Hey... you already were a better man. And you're the man I wanna kiss for the rest of my life.

Phil: You get my train?
Carol: Sure did, you little love conductor.
Phil: Where were you?
Carol: Right where you left me, at the Emco station.
Phil: You mean the Speedy Pump.
Carol: No, I was there for a week, it was definitely an Emco.
Phil: It wasn't, but you know, it doesn't matter!

Wait, where's Brice? BRICE! AHHHHH! No, my god! No, he's okay, he's gonna be fine, he's just got the wind knocked out of him!

Phil

The Last Man on Earth Season 2 Episode 2 Quotes

Phil: You get my train?
Carol: Sure did, you little love conductor.
Phil: Where were you?
Carol: Right where you left me, at the Emco station.
Phil: You mean the Speedy Pump.
Carol: No, I was there for a week, it was definitely an Emco.
Phil: It wasn't, but you know, it doesn't matter!

Wait, where's Brice? BRICE! AHHHHH! No, my god! No, he's okay, he's gonna be fine, he's just got the wind knocked out of him!

Phil