The Last Man on Earth
Sundays 9:30 PMThe Last Man on Earth Quotes
What's the worst thing a prison guard could find at a wedding? An open bar!
Karl
The prisoner Karl is painting: How's it coming?
Karl: My finest work yet! It's like Matisse mixed with Shakespeare, with just a little Rhea Perlman on top.
Karl: Have you ever been painted? You know, like a painting?
His date: No.
Karl: Then it's settled. We're going back to my place after dinner, and I'm going to paint you. Just like Jack did to Rose.
Hi, I'm Karl.
Karl
Sorry it’s taking me so long. I’m just searching for the perfect brush.
Karl
There is a little boy out there who's confused and freaked out because all the people he thinks he can trust in the world are acting like raving lunatics. Guys, he's a 9- to 11-year-old boy.
Melissa
You cannot use logic to win an argument with Carol Pilbasian so just don't let her suck you in.
Gail
Todd: Jasper, did you just put a firework in that giraffe?
Jasper: No.
Todd: Are you lying?
Jasper: Yeah.
Explosives are not appropriate for minors. They're for adults and for miners. Coal miners. It's a different minors.
Todd
Hey Mike. I'm your dad. You know, normally Mike is a guy's name, and kids might give you a little flak for it. But Mike was my brother's name. If you knew him, I'm sure you wouldn't mind.
Tandy
You have another cheeseburger in the bag?
Tandy
I don't like fast food. I prefer it slow or mid-tempo.
Carol
