The Guardian's job is not to save the Librarians' bodies. It is to save their souls. And you did that admirably today, Colonel.

Jenkins

• Permalink: The Guardian's job is not to save the Librarians' bodies. It is to save their souls. And you...
• Added: November 30, 2015

Driver: Hey, get out of the road, old man!
Jenkins: [scornfully] "Old man"? You have no idea.

• Permalink: "Old man"? You have no idea.
• Added: November 30, 2015

Jake: Are we talking *soul* soul here?
Jenkins: Well, if you're asking me what happens after you die, I remind you I'm the least qualified to answer that.

• Permalink: Well, if you're asking me what happens after you die, I remind you I'm the least qualified to...
• Added: November 30, 2015

Jenkins: Mr. Stone, the thing to remember about devils is they will never appear in a cape and horns, they will come dressed as everything you ever wished for.
Ezekiel: So, we should look for...
Jenkins: Katy Perry, wearing the Crown Jewels, holding a wad of cash, with an unnatural attraction to young Aussie boys.

• Permalink: Katy Perry, wearing the Crown Jewels, holding a wad of cash, with an unnatural attraction to...
• Added: November 30, 2015

So, this is nice, huh? After all these years, we can still talk over coff-- Okay, I'm sorry. Seriously?! Were you just gonna blow by this thing?! Why did Brandi's body just suddenly appear and fall through the ceiling?!

Sam Denning

• Permalink: So, this is nice, huh? After all these years, we can still talk over coff-- Okay, I'm sorry....
• Added: November 30, 2015

Jake: We're here for Brandi Vargas.
Sam Denning: Well, she sure as hell isn't here. [A demonic portal opens and drops her corpse into the room. They all stare.]

• Permalink: Well, she sure as hell isn't here. [A demonic portal opens and drops her corpse into the...
• Added: November 30, 2015

Oh, now you can tell lies that aren't lies? Wow you really *are* a politician!

Eve

• Permalink: Oh, now you can tell lies that aren't lies? Wow you really *are* a politician!
• Added: November 30, 2015

Jake: Get ready for Chupacabra jerky!
Cassandra: Ew, you're cooking it?!
Jake: [excited] No, he's making it! The Chupacabra, he's *awesome*!
Ezekiel: [dubious] Is that *safe*?
Jenkins: As long as we keep it away from the goats on Level Four.
Cassandra/Ezekiel: [simultaneously] We've got goats?!

• Permalink: We've got goats?!
• Added: November 30, 2015