The Magicians
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on SyFyThe Magicians Season 3 Episode 2: "Heroes and Morons" Quotes
Sorry, Officer. Our friend's cat was sick and exploded. You know, like they do.
Quentin
Quentin: Alice?
Alice: Shit.
Quentin: Hey, how did you -- what are you doing here?
Alice: Same as you, I guess. Following all this crazy magic, hoping it leads to Mayakovsky's batteries.
Quentin: By yourself? It took four of us to -- Well, you are Alice Quinn.
Eliot: She is a spy for the Faerie Queen. It's probably better if she's not our daughter.
Fen: All my life I've wanted a family of my own and I know this isn't ideal. We've missed so much with her, but it's not her fault. She needs the one thing in life she's never had.
Eliot: Manners.
Fen: Love.
Eliot: Ugh, god. What a cliche.
Margo: The baby that becomes a teenager practically overnight?
Eliot: Right? Angel.
Margo: Twilight.
Eliot: Buffy.
Margo: Technically, Buffy’s sister was never a baby. She just appeared out of nowhere. And oh my god. Two months without dick and I sound like Quentin.
Eliot: The point is, only a creature from the land TV for God would think anyone would fall for how shockingly original this is.
Emily: We met someone at a bar. Someone he owed something to.
Quentin: Maybe a battery?
Emily: I don’t know, honestly. It was a woman. Yeah, I really had to pee so I hit the ladies and I heard all this screaming. Next thing, he is hulking out of his clothes and he’s getting all hairy. He’s now full bear and he’s just tearing the place apart.
Quentin: But so you think it was that woman?
Emily: If it was and you find her, could you rip her fucking face off? Cause now I’m married to a zoo animal.
So we’re out of dough. Moola. Chedda. Money, people. Magic’s gone. We can’t even control the gold-shitting beetles anymore now that they’ve declared themselves free and disappeared. We’re about to be a third-world country on a planet with two-and-a-half countries.
Eliot
