The Sopranos Season 1 Episode 1: "The Sopranos" Quotes
(to Dr. Melfi) Let me tell you something. Nowadays, everybody's got to go to shrinks and counselors and go on Sally Jesse Raphael and talk about their problems. Whatever happened to Gary Cooper, the strong silent type? That was an American. He wasn't in touch with his feelings. He just did what he had to do. See what they didn't know was once they got Gary Cooper in touch with his feelings was that they wouldn't be able to shut him up and then it's dysfunction this and dysfunction that and dysfunction va fa culo!
Tony
(to Tony) What's different between you and me is you're going to hell when you die.
Carmela
I don't drive when they're predicting rain.
Livia
Livia: All I know is daughters are better at taking care of their mothers than sons.
Tony: Yeah, and I bought CDs for a broken record.
Ma, I'll never understand that. The phone is an auditory thing, dark is an eye thing. I can understand not going out after dark. You get jumped in the shadows, whatever, but not answering the phone after dark?
Tony
Carmela: You're going to be home tonight for Anthony Jr.'s birthday party, right? (realizes Tony isn't paying attention) Hey, Birdman, hello.
Tony: Yeah yeah, I'll get home early from work.
Carmela: I'm not talking about work.
(about Tony) Him with those ducks.
Carmela
Tony: The morning of the day I got sick I've been thinking it's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that, I know. But lately I've been gettin' the feelin' that I come in at the end. The best is over.
Melfi: Many Americans I think feel that way.
Tony: I think about my father, he never reached the heights like me. But a lot of way he had it better. He had his people, they had their standards, and pride. Today, what have we got?
Dr. Melfi: Have you ever had a prostate exam?
Tony: Are you kidding? I don't let anyone wag their finger in my face.
