Are you girls good with brownies for dinner?

Wade

• Permalink: Are you girls good with brownies for dinner?
• Added: September 22, 2019

Stop judging me. You have one kid and compared to four kids, one kid is like having no kids.

Michelle

• Permalink: Stop judging me. You have one kid and compared to four kids, one kid is like having no kids.
• Added: September 22, 2019

We know it's a punch in the gut, but maybe it's time to move on with your life.

Forrest

• Permalink: We know it's a punch in the gut, but maybe it's time to move on with your life.
• Added: September 22, 2019

Sometimes pity dates leads to pity sex.

Forrest

• Permalink: Sometimes pity dates leads to pity sex.
• Added: September 22, 2019

Michelle: You are a unicorn.
Wade: A what?
Michelle: A unicorn. You know that elusive creature that all single women are looking for? See, most of the men on these dating sites are having midlife crisis, they're getting divorced, buying Porches. They're hooking up with 25-year-olds.
Delia: You're a devoted father, you are a devoted husband, and not for nothing but you haven't had sex with anybody besides Jill in over 20 years. So, you're factory fresh, buddy.

• Permalink: You're a devoted father, you are a devoted husband, and not for nothing but you haven't had...
• Added: September 22, 2019