I know it might seem kind of weird, but football is really big with our family, like really big. I wouldn't even be here with out football. I was conceived in a bathroom during the Super Bowl.

Kate

• Permalink: I know it might seem kind of weird, but football is really big with our family, like really...
• Added: October 25, 2016

Kate: Growing up, I used to watch the Steelers with my dad, right? Every single Sunday. Until I grew up, and I moved out here, and I got out of the habit. And it wasn't until the 2006 AFC Championship when they played the Broncos, do you remember?
Toby: No.
Kate: Well, anyway, I did, and then they won. And then they won the Super Bowl and I just, it's just what I do now. I watch the Steelers, and I watch them with my dad.

• Permalink: Well, anyway, I did, and then they won. And then they won the Super Bowl and I just, it's...
• Added: October 25, 2016

If it's between you and having kids, you win, every time. No question.

Jack

• Permalink: If it's between you and having kids, you win, every time. No question.
• Added: October 25, 2016

William: You do that a lot.
Kevin: Do what a lot?
William: Doubt yourself. You were really good on that show, Kevin.
Kevin: You watched The Manny?

• Permalink: You watched The Manny?
• Added: October 25, 2016

That's not good. It's not as easy as it looks is it? No.

Kevin

• Permalink: That's not good. It's not as easy as it looks is it? No.
• Added: October 25, 2016

Randall: Well, there goes Charleston.
Beth: OK, I'm sorry, what?
Randall: Ten years when the girls are both off in college I thought we would take an early retirement in Charleston.
Beth: Forgive me, Randall, but what in the holy hell are you talking about? And since when did you want to move to Charleston?
Randall: I saw something about it on CNN. How they got a great quality of life, good restaurants. Sometimes at work I look up places on Zillow.
Beth: Oh, OK. Well, I'm so sorry that I'm screwing with your super top secret Zillow dreams, honey. My issues are nothing when compared to yours.

• Permalink: Oh, OK. Well, I'm so sorry that I'm screwing with your super top secret Zillow dreams, honey....
• Added: October 25, 2016

Kevin: Oh, one more thing before you go. It's Tess that's the white wine drinker and Annie with the red? Because I don't want to get that wrong and piss them off...still a little too far?
Beth [to Randall]: He plays to much, he plays too much.

• Permalink: He plays to much, he plays too much.
• Added: October 25, 2016

Beth: Bedtimes are at eight and nine; that's teeth brushed and in the bed by eight and nine.
Kevin: So one Sambuca to chase down the ambien and then lights out, right?

• Permalink: So one Sambuca to chase down the ambien and then lights out, right?
• Added: October 25, 2016

Promise me we are never having kids. Oof. I think it's time for shots!

Rebecca

• Permalink: Promise me we are never having kids. Oof. I think it's time for shots!
• Added: October 25, 2016

OK. How about this. You can watch football all by yourself, which is like totally normal, but with me.

Toby

• Permalink: OK. How about this. You can watch football alone, which is like totally normal, but with me.
• Added: October 25, 2016

So, you told the kids that he's grandpa, right, but not that he's sick. That's ballsy.

Kevin

• Permalink: So, you told the kids that he's grandpa, right, but not that he's sick. That's ballsy.
• Added: October 25, 2016

Rebecca: I refuse to be my mother staring at my father staring at the television.
Jack: OK.
Rebecca: So teach me! Teach me football.

• Permalink: So teach me! Teach me football.
• Added: October 25, 2016