Darcy: If all the sets and props and wardrobe were solid matter, that would mean she's wielding an insane amount of power.
Jimmy: Far exceeding anything she's displayed in the past.
Monica: Uh, she could have taken out Thanos on her own if he hadn't initiated a blitz. I mean, nobody else came close.
Jimmy: Well, I'd argue that Captain Marvel came close.

Jimmy: But how did she even do it? Bring him back without the Mind Stone?
Darcy: Who knows? But she has the world's only vibranium synthezoid, playing Father-Knows-Best-In-Suburbia. What happens when he learns the truth?

Vision: Be careful of their belly buttons and remember to support their heads, and when was the last time you washed your hands? Actually, you know what? It would be... Just... Maybe we better not.
Agnes: Um... Uh... Do you want me to take that again?
Wanda: Uh... I'm sorry?
Agnes: You want me to hold the babies. Should we just take it from the top?
Vision: What?
Wanda: Oh, don't be silly. Vision, let's let Agnes give it a try.

Wanda: Sweet, sweet Tommy, don't you wanna sleep? Mommy wants to sleep. If you go to sleep, I promise you will be my favorite twin.
Vision: Oh, come on now, darling. You know we love them both equally.
Wanda: Well, don't tell him that.

Vision: We don't have to stay here. We could go wherever we want.
Wanda: No, we can't. This is our home.
Vision: Are you sure?
Wanda: Oh, don't worry, darling. I have everything under control.

Jimmy: So you're saying the universe created a sitcom starring two Avengers?
Darcy: It's a working theory.

Agent: Ms. Lewis?
Darcy: Dr. Lewis.

I, uh, pulled phone numbers for all the residents. I'm only through the Ds, but so far I got Diddly Squat.

Jimmy

Tyler: The program hasn't been the same since you've been up there, Rambeau. Shifted away from manned missions and refocused on robotics, nanotech, AI. Sentient Weapons, like it says on the door.
Monica: It also says "Observation and Response" on that door, not "Creation."
Tyler: World's not the same as you left it. Space is now full of unexpected threats.
Monica: Always was full of threats. And allies.

Monica: My mom is Maria Rambeau. Look it up, I mean...look it up. Maria Rambeau.
Dr. Harley: Monica, I don't understand what's happening, but you need to listen to me. Maria died three years ago.
Monica: Three? No. No. No, no...
Dr. Harley: Which was two years after you...
Monica: After I what? After I what?
Dr. Harley: After you disappeared.

Wanda: I'm a twin. I had a brother. His name was Pietro.
Geraldine: He was killed by Ultron, wasn't he?

Wanda: Will the baby be human or Synthezoid? A bit of both?
Vision: If he's anything like his ma, Billy will be perfect.
Wanda: You mean Tommy.

WandaVision Quotes

Norm: You're like a walking computer.
Vision: What? I most certainly am not. I'm a regular carbon-based employee made entirely of organic matter, much like yourself, Norm.

Vision: My wife and her flying saucers.
Wanda: My husband and his indestructible head.
Vision: Aren't we a fine pair?