The sun in his eyes wakes Ted, who heads out to eat his yummy breakfast of shredded wheat, and it looks a lot different than it does in America.

It's their first day on the job. He enjoys a busker playing guitar and watches some local kids playing soccer. He's beginning to understand the culture a little bit.

Rebecca is looking for Rupert on the internet when Ted arrives with some biscuits for Rebecca.  He wants to get to know her. First concert best concert. For her, both are Spice Girls. His first was Kenny Rogers. He breaks into song, but Rebecca interrupts. Biscuits with the boss is not something she ever has time for. But she realizes he'll show up with biscuits tomorrow, too.

Ted is nervous. His hands are tingling.

It becomes clear quickly that Jamie Tartt is a twat. Ted tells Sam to be a goldfish, the happiest animal on earth. Why? Because he has a ten-second memory.

Rebecca whines to Higgins that Ted is nice. It will only muck things up if his players love him. She calls Higgins a garden gnome and wants him to discover where Ted got those biscuits.

Their first game is against Crystal Palace. He instigates a suggestion box. They look at him like he's nuts. Roy pulls him aside. He cannot believe this is happening. Tasty snacks when they're on a losing streak?

Keeley arrives to play lion or panda. Ted says Panda which annoys the daylights out of Rebecca.

The suggestion box is filled with wankers. And one real suggestion about shower pressure.

Arriving with biscuits for Rebecca, Ted reveals he's having lunch with Higgins who is really enjoying the new coach.

Ted asks the team for money for Sam's birthday present. They're weirded out, especially about the box Nate made, but most contribute. Except Jamie, who jams his gum in the box. He promises Ted he'll do better after razzing Roy about his chest.

During the next press conference, the Sun reporter asks Rebecca about Rupert's latest. Ted worries over her.

Ted offers her something from his care package from his son and settles on an army man to help keep her safe.

Meanwhile, sends Ted to get advice about Jamie from Keeley. She has something up her sleeve.

Ted feeds Keeley while she's wearing her lion's paws. Paparazzi gets photos of their activities.

Before the match, they wheel in Sam's cake and goodies from home. A care package. They have a lot more fun than they expected.

Sam chooses to return his army man because he doesn't have the same fondness for the American military as Ted.

Premier League announcers Arlo White and Chris Powell are on hand. The sound of WANKER fills the town and stadium.

Ted tries to positively reinforce Jamie to be a little more team-minded. Roy screams that it was fucking embarrassing. And then he hits the shower.

Rebecca wants to know where Ted got those biscuits. She's loving the wanker hashtag on Twitter.

Jamie uses the one of 11 quote to Trent Crimm, but then reconsiders, telling on the losing team for eating cake and having fun.

Higgins is dancing.

Ted runs into the schoolgirl again and they do a little sidewalk scrimmage.

Rebecca gets the call about the photos. She reconsiders for a second but sees Rupert and his new girl on TV when she tells the guy to pull the plug. Meanwhile, Ted is baking her biscuits. By hand.

Roy is still in the shower enjoying the water pressure.