The producers should just have titled last night's episode ALL ABOUT KIM! Kim packing her many, many Louis Vuitton valises full of her many, many stripper heels and a few dozen of her ratty wigs. 

Kim driving in her rented bright yellow Lamborghini thru the Palm Springs desert, with her assistant Sweetie, swerving through traffic like a deranged Barbie.

Kim prepping for her big gay stage debut at the White Party.

Choosing tutus and dustrag dresses that wouldn't fit a 10-year-old much less a 44 DDDD Amazon. Kim fawning over the multitude of beautiful, buff go-go boys like a deranged madame choosing her wares for the season instead of paying attention to her act.

Kandi has been dragged along for support but apparently she's really there to be Kim's backup singer.

This doesn't exactly sit well with Kandi but what the hell...she gets steamrolled by Kim & her ginormous silicon globes and ends up on stage pretty much taking over the show. Kim's "stage rehearsal" looks like an ADD PSA gone bad. Oh, and the other housewives? 

We learn that Nene got a Yorkshire Terrier named "Player" (pronounced "Play-a") and she's a good mom to her 11-year-old son, Brent.

Dwight visits Sheree with his publicist (?!?) and basically tells her that the $30,000 he put into her fashion show last season was spent at Kinko's!  We also learn that Sheree has a 24-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER!  The result of a teen pregnancy, Dawn better not plan on having any children anytime soon.

Sheree is not about to be a nana.

Cynthia the supermodel whines to her sister about her fear of commitment (again). Phaedra "High Class" Parks reminds us she's a lawyer (again).

She and her husband Apollo, the "racketeering, half-white, ex-con" (her words) meet with her "relationship mentors" and we learn that 1) Phaedra likes gifts; 2) Apollo needs to talk to Phaedra's staff to tell him what she likes; and 3) their kids WILL get ass-whuppins because she is not raising her children to be disrespectful the way Apollo is (which Phaedra feels is a result of Apollo being half-white).

You know how those white people can be. We also learn that Phaedra is a food connoisseur as opposed to Apollo who likes "canned food" (once again due to the fact that he was raised half-white). 

Bring on the spam! 

And finally we see Kim's big stage number. Dudsville. Tardy for the party indeed!