Duck Dynasty Quotes from Season 5
Matt Richenthal at . Updated at .The men of Duck Dynasty are always great for a few memorable quotes.
Check out these Season 5 gems.
1. Wrestling, to rednecks, is a soap opera.
Wrestling, to rednecks, is a soap opera.
Jase
2. I have found ticks in my whiskers.
I have found ticks in my whiskers.
Phil
3. Why did you marry him?
What was the line to make you say 'I think I'll spend the rest of my life with a guy from Florida?
Phil
4. Normally, I would be concerned about Willie getting hurt. But I have not seen Willie exercise...
Normally, I would be concerned about Willie getting hurt. But I have not seen Willie exercise this much since he stopped doing the TaeBo videos in the living room. And I think those were on VHS too.
Korie
5. She was looking for a man who was not from the Paleolithic era, if you know what I mean.
She was looking for a man who was not from the Paleolithic era, if you know what I mean.
Gordon
6. I like sheep.
I like sheep.
Miss Kay
7. The duck call room is actually a combination of science, innovation and art, all coming...
The duck call room is actually a combination of science, innovation and art, all coming together. We are like a rednecked NASA. We are boldly going where no redneck has gone before.
Jase
8. They're not mad. These cows are crazy
They're not mad. These cows are crazy
Si
9. Missiles are coming out the rear ends of these animals that can provide a lot of opportunity...
Missiles are coming out the rear ends of these animals that can provide a lot of opportunity for your children.
Phil
10. You're OK!
If there's not a bone protruding through your skin, or you're not bleeding from an orifice, you'll be OK.
Jase
11. That's my crapper.
That's my crapper.
Jep
12. You like a full-figured TV like you like a full-figured woman.
You like a full-figured TV like you like a full-figured woman.
Kay
13. Yep. It's the childhood equivalent of a strip mall.
Jep: So, by your logic, it's too fun.
Jase: Yep. It's the childhood equivalent of a strip mall.
14. Ice cream is not a legitimate perk.
Ice cream is not a legitimate perk.
Jase
15. The grandkids want me to talk to them on the phone, with text, and I don't know how to do it.
The grandkids want me to talk to them on the phone, with text, and I don't know how to do it.
Kay
16. Hey, I'm a math man.
Hey, I'm a math man.
Si
17. Decoupage is the perfect way to relax.
Decoupage is the perfect way to relax.
Jessica
18. Decoupage. It's a French word. I know it sounds kinda dirty.
Decoupage. It's a French word. I know it sounds kinda dirty.
Jep
19. You don't mix nail guns and medication. That's just not smart.
You don't mix nail guns and medication. That's just not smart.
Martin
20. One time, Jase even said he was better at flippin' channels.
One time, Jase even said he was better at flippin' channels.
Wilie
21. I don’t need baskets. That’s what women do.
I don’t need baskets. That’s what women do.
Jase
22. I love bringing old things back to life.
I love bringing old things back to life.
Kay
23. Why ain't yall working?
What are y'all doing? Why ain’t y'all working?
Willie
24. I gotta put a stop to it.
When I hear a sound that's particularly unpleasant, I gotta put a stop to it.
Jase
25. You need a weapon? Give me a flip-flop and a Big League Chew
You need a weapon? Give me a flip-flop and a Big League Chew.
Si
26. Do you why, Priscilla, you don't wanna breathe those fumes? You ever seen a dead animal in...
You ever seen a dead animal in the road? That's the way your brain will look.
Phil
27. The key to telling a scary story - throw a little realism in there.
The key to telling a scary story - throw a little realism in there.
Phil
28. As a hunter, I think this is one of the most enjoyable kills I've ever had.
As a hunter, I think this is one of the most enjoyable kills I've ever had.
Jase
29. She was a looker. Like them chicks on 'The Weather Channel' you know what I'm sayin.
She was a looker. Like them chicks on The Weather Channel, you know what I'm sayin.
Phil
30. It's easier to maintain the monotony of putting together duck calls when you're a little loopy.
It's easier to maintain the monotony of putting together duck calls when you're a little loopy.
Jase