Duck Dynasty Quotes from Season 5

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The men of Duck Dynasty are always great for a few memorable quotes.

Check out these Season 5 gems.

1. Wrestling, to rednecks, is a soap opera.

Duck dynasty finale pic

Wrestling, to rednecks, is a soap opera.

Jase
Wrestling, to rednecks, is a soap opera.

2. I have found ticks in my whiskers.

Duck dynasty finale pic

I have found ticks in my whiskers.

Phil
I have found ticks in my whiskers.

3. Why did you marry him?

Duck dynasty finale pic

What was the line to make you say 'I think I'll spend the rest of my life with a guy from Florida?

Phil
What was the line to make you say 'I think I'll spend the rest of my life with a guy from Florida?

4. Normally, I would be concerned about Willie getting hurt. But I have not seen Willie exercise...

Duck dynasty finale pic

Normally, I would be concerned about Willie getting hurt. But I have not seen Willie exercise this much since he stopped doing the TaeBo videos in the living room. And I think those were on VHS too.

Korie
Normally, I would be concerned about Willie getting hurt. But I have not seen Willie exercise this much since he stopped doing the TaeBo...

5. She was looking for a man who was not from the Paleolithic era, if you know what I mean.

Duck dynasty finale pic

She was looking for a man who was not from the Paleolithic era, if you know what I mean.

Gordon
She was looking for a man who was not from the Paleolithic era, if you know what I mean.

6. I like sheep.

A new invention

I like sheep.

Miss Kay
I like sheep.

7. The duck call room is actually a combination of science, innovation and art, all coming...

A new invention

The duck call room is actually a combination of science, innovation and art, all coming together. We are like a rednecked NASA. We are boldly going where no redneck has gone before.

Jase
The duck call room is actually a combination of science, innovation and art, all coming together. We are like a rednecked NASA. We are...

8. They're not mad. These cows are crazy

A new invention

They're not mad. These cows are crazy

Si
They're not mad. These cows are crazy

9. Missiles are coming out the rear ends of these animals that can provide a lot of opportunity...

A new invention

Missiles are coming out the rear ends of these animals that can provide a lot of opportunity for your children.

Phil
Missiles are coming out the rear ends of these animals that can provide a lot of opportunity for your children.

10. You're OK!

Constant teasing

If there's not a bone protruding through your skin, or you're not bleeding from an orifice, you'll be OK.

Jase
If there's not a bone protruding through your skin, or you're not bleeding from an orifice, you'll be OK.

11. That's my crapper.

Constant teasing

That's my crapper.

Jep
That's my crapper.

12. You like a full-figured TV like you like a full-figured woman.

A new duck dynasty toy

You like a full-figured TV like you like a full-figured woman.

Kay
You like a full-figured TV like you like a full-figured woman.

13. Yep. It's the childhood equivalent of a strip mall.

Constant teasing

Jep: So, by your logic, it's too fun.
Jase: Yep. It's the childhood equivalent of a strip mall.

Jep: So, by your logic, it's too fun. Jase: Yep. It's the childhood equivalent of a strip mall.

14. Ice cream is not a legitimate perk.

A new duck dynasty toy

Ice cream is not a legitimate perk.

Jase
Ice cream is not a legitimate perk.

15. The grandkids want me to talk to them on the phone, with text, and I don't know how to do it.

A new duck dynasty toy

The grandkids want me to talk to them on the phone, with text, and I don't know how to do it.

Kay
The grandkids want me to talk to them on the phone, with text, and I don't know how to do it.

16. Hey, I'm a math man.

Burger cookoff

Hey, I'm a math man.

Si
Hey, I'm a math man.

17. Decoupage is the perfect way to relax.

Burger cookoff

Decoupage is the perfect way to relax.

Jessica
Decoupage is the perfect way to relax.

18. Decoupage. It's a French word. I know it sounds kinda dirty.

Burger cookoff

Decoupage. It's a French word. I know it sounds kinda dirty.

Jep
Decoupage. It's a French word. I know it sounds kinda dirty.

19. You don't mix nail guns and medication. That's just not smart.

Constant teasing

You don't mix nail guns and medication. That's just not smart.

Martin
You don't mix nail guns and medication. That's just not smart.

20. One time, Jase even said he was better at flippin' channels.

Burger cookoff

One time, Jase even said he was better at flippin' channels.

Wilie
One time, Jase even said he was better at flippin' channels.

21. I don’t need baskets. That’s what women do.

Burger cookoff

I don’t need baskets. That’s what women do.

Jase
I don’t need baskets. That’s what women do.

22. I love bringing old things back to life.

Burger cookoff

I love bringing old things back to life.

Kay
I love bringing old things back to life.

23. Why ain't yall working?

Duck dynasty cast members

What are y'all doing? Why ain’t y'all working?

Willie
What are y'all doing? Why ain’t y'all working?

24. I gotta put a stop to it.

Duck dynasty cast members

When I hear a sound that's particularly unpleasant, I gotta put a stop to it.

Jase
When I hear a sound that's particularly unpleasant, I gotta put a stop to it.

25. You need a weapon? Give me a flip-flop and a Big League Chew

Duck dynasty cast members

You need a weapon? Give me a flip-flop and a Big League Chew.

Si
You need a weapon? Give me a flip-flop and a Big League Chew.

26. Do you why, Priscilla, you don't wanna breathe those fumes? You ever seen a dead animal in...

Duck dynasty cast members

You ever seen a dead animal in the road? That's the way your brain will look.

Phil
You ever seen a dead animal in the road? That's the way your brain will look.

27. The key to telling a scary story - throw a little realism in there.

Duck dynasty cast members

The key to telling a scary story - throw a little realism in there.

Phil
The key to telling a scary story - throw a little realism in there.

28. As a hunter, I think this is one of the most enjoyable kills I've ever had.

Duck dynasty cast members

As a hunter, I think this is one of the most enjoyable kills I've ever had.

Jase
As a hunter, I think this is one of the most enjoyable kills I've ever had.

29. She was a looker. Like them chicks on 'The Weather Channel' you know what I'm sayin.

Duck dynasty cast members

She was a looker. Like them chicks on The Weather Channel, you know what I'm sayin.

Phil
She was a looker. Like them chicks on The Weather Channel, you know what I'm sayin.

30. It's easier to maintain the monotony of putting together duck calls when you're a little loopy.

Duck dynasty cast members

It's easier to maintain the monotony of putting together duck calls when you're a little loopy.

Jase
It's easier to maintain the monotony of putting together duck calls when you're a little loopy.

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Duck Dynasty Quotes

You ever seen a dead animal in the road? That's the way your brain will look.

Phil

What are y'all doing? Why ain’t y'all working?

Willie