New Girl - Schmidt Online Dating Profile

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Schmidt's online dating profile from 2008 ... finally revealed (as a spoof from none other than Zooey Deschanel herself)!
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New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Jess: I have to go out tonight, 'cause I'm feeling pretty twirly.
Schmidt: Twirly? Is that like horny?
Jess: I've got the dirty twirlies, Schmitdy!"