New Girl - Schmidt Online Dating Profile

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Schmidt's online dating profile from 2008 ... finally revealed (as a spoof from none other than Zooey Deschanel herself)!
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New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Nick isn't even a man. He's some kind of man-boy, man-child hybrid. The other day, I had to tell him not to pull a dog's tail.

Jess